Page 26 of Owning Emma

“Yeah,” I said around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. “But that was about then, this is about now?”

“If I had a boyfriend, do you think he would be okay with me spending most of my time up here with you guys?”

Hum. “You have a point.”

Silence enveloped us for a long couple of minutes as we ate. Finally, she spoke again, “Can I ask you something?”

“It depends. Am I going to like it or despise it?” I was only half teasing at that, she could always ask me anything she wanted.

“I don’t really know, to be honest.” She picked up a roasted carrot and nibbled on it.

“Ask away then.” I followed her action, finding a carrot and picking it up with my fingers.

“What’s the deal with you two?” she blurted out and I nearly choked.

After coughing for a minute, I managed to squeak out, “What do you mean?”

She leveled me with a look that told me in no other way that she wasn’t fucking around and that I couldn’t get anything past her. “I can’t figure you out. Are you friends, really? Are you more? You two are both very confusing.”

I felt a bit defensive that she brought to light that whole subject that I couldn’t even figure out. “We are friends.”

That much was definitely true. Lately, I’d been struggling with some internal conflicts but Shaw being my friend would never change. “The thing from the other night . . . is that normal?”

I saw her face start to turn a delicious shade of red and for a moment, I wondered if the flush covered her whole body. “What thing are you referring to?”

Oh, I knew. I knew exactly what she was talking about. But, I wanted to hear her say it. She cleared her throat. “You know what, never mind.”

“Hey, it’s too late to turn back now.” I was nearly taunting her and sure enough, the Angel took the bait.

“You were in here together, with an umm . . .” She coughed, “a woman.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time we shared, and it probably won’t be the last. But that’s all we do, share her. Nothing more.”

“Isn’t that sort of . . .” she paused and I used my hand to prompt her to continue. “Isn’t that sort of uncomfortable?”

“Don’t knock it until you try it, you should expedite it straight to the top of your list. Shaw is,” I paused long enough to glance at him, “He’s a voyeur. Mostly he watches and that makes him happy, so I’m okay with that.”

After a long moment she sighed. “I don’t have a list. I’m sorry, that was probably an inappropriate question. You’re my boss and I crossed a line. Feel free to fire me.”

I laughed at that. “Clever girl. You aren’t going anywhere.” I left the conversation at that, even though I wanted more than anything to know why she didn’t have a list of sexual desires. Every damn person should have a list.

I opened my mouth to change the subject when Shaw started whimpering, his hands suddenly going to his ears and he covered them, muttering something about bells. Emma looked panicked. “What is he saying?”

I got up, leaning over him to shake his shoulder. “He has these nightmares from his past, always with bells.”

Usually a light sleeper, today he wasn’t budging from his slumber, but still he thrashed, his body shaking from the fear and panic the dream was inducing. “What do we do?”

I wasn’t exactly sure. “Just try to wake him up?”

She climbed on the bed next to him, her palm finding his face as she whispered to him and for a second, he stilled. The man who despised unwarranted contact, stilled with her touch. I looked at her in wonder. ’Take your hand off.”

She looked unsure, like she didn’t want to do it but she nodded her agreement. The moment she removed her hand from his skin, he visibly panicked. She panicked, too, placing it on him so fast, trying to stop his fear. It slowed, until he was once again calm. She looked toward me, her eyes pleading. “What do I do?”

I didn’t know. Obviously, she couldn’t sit there with her hand on his face all night. But he was calm when she was near, and I sure as hell didn’t want him to suffer. This was what I meant. He was too soft, too gentle for this world he got thrust into. He needed tenderness; he required the soft touch even if he worked so hard to keep them at bay. I sighed. “I don’t know.”

She ran her palm over his face, brushing back the piece of damp hair I thought about moving minutes before. “He’s not so bad, you know. You on the other hand . . .”

“I’m a no good, cheating, money stealing asshole. I know, I got it.” I leaned back into the chair and crossed my legs at the ankle, disappointed that we lost the moment when we were getting along so well.

“Well, yeah. I guess. But what I was going to say was you on the other hand, could be a jerk.” She shrugged, staring at Shaw for a minute more as she made some sort of internal decision, before she laid her body next to his, aligning herself so that she would always be touching his skin, and fell asleep.

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