Page 80 of Blade

“Did you ask Blade that? Did he have a suggestion?”

Grams was so patient when I started ranting and raving. She never raised her voice to me. It was one of the things I loved most about my Grams. She always let me say whatI needed to get it all out without interruption. The woman should be up for a sainthood.

“When I told him I didn’t think I could do that, he said,don’t think, just feel, then he kissed me.” Covering my face with my hands, I groaned. “Grams, how did this happen?”

“How did what happen?” she asked nonchalantly, stirring sugar into her tea.

Exasperated, I said, “How did a man who couldn’t be in the same room with me without growling, find a way through the grief I have been dealing with for ten years, and make me feel something?”

“Sounds like fate to me,” she retorted, taking a sip of her tea.

I stared at her, waiting. Grams was always very spiritual. Though fate always seemed too random for her. So for her to suggest fate meant she didn’t think that at all.

“Or… maybe you are ready for that final stage, acceptance.”

Huh?

I was just talking about the stages of grief with Blade. Assuring him I wasn’t there yet. I also agreed to go to the party with him. And let him kiss me.Three times!

“Beck?” I turned toward Grams. “Maybe listen to Blade and stop thinking. Don’t overanalyze. Just live. See what happens.”

See what happens? Could I do that?

“I guess I could try it,” I relented, shrugging my shoulders.

“That is all anyone is asking.” She continued to drink her tea.

I left mine abandoned on the table to go get ready for the party.

Don’t think, just feel.

Seemed simple enough until I opened my closet to find something to wear.

Thirty minutes later, I was finally ready to go. I went with the safe option: a pair of skinny jeans, a snug T-shirt that hugged my boobs, and knee-high black boots. Should be good for a biker party. Though compared to what the club girls wore, I was still way overdressed.

“Hey, Grams, I’m going to head over to the clubhouse. Is there anything you need before I go?”

“Actually, yes, I need you to enjoy yourself tonight and not be concerned about me.”

“Ok, um, Blade also asked me to go on the club ride with him tomorrow. I was thinking, maybe, I, um, might stay the night at the clubhouse.” I bit the corner of my lower lip, waiting for her response.

She gave me a warm smile and took my hands in hers.

“I think that is a great idea. I will see you tomorrow afternoon.” She kissed my cheek and sent me on my way.

Walking over to the clubhouse, I noticed there were a lot more bikes than usual. Blade said the Mother Chapter was visiting, and I hesitated walking through the gate.

The prospect—I think his name was Archie—observed my dilemma.

“Everything ok, ma’am?”

Ma’am? He looked like he was my age.

“Did you just call me ma’am?”

“Um, no, ma—I mean no.”

I eyed Archie carefully. “Can I ask you a question?”

---