Page 94 of Blade

Gasping, her head shot up briefly, before once again hiding against my chest.

“Oh God, why are we talking about this? No, I’ve never done that. When Micah died, I changed. I thought I would never live again. I’ve never felt anything even close to desire, so I just never even considered doing that.”

“Micah? Was that his name? I haven’t heard you say it before.”

I was an asshole.

“Oh, yeah. That was his name. Last night was amazing.” She looked up at me, smiling. “But it wasn’t just sex. I think this was what I needed to let go and accept he’s gone. To accept that I’m still here and I have to live my life. I can’t live in the past forever.”

She sat up with concern showing across her face.

“I don’t want you to think I was using you. I’m glad it was you. Despite our first few rocky encounters.” She giggled, and it was one thing I missed most about her. “You make me feel… everything I’ve missed out on.”

Yep, I was a fucking asshole.

“Oh God, don’t get the wrong idea. I won’t go all stalkery and clingy on you. I mean, you were my first, but I’m not asking you to marry me or anything.”

She twisted her hands again.

I noticed she did that when she got flustered. She never used to get flustered. She used to be the most confident person I had ever met.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to act the day after. I’ve never had a day after. Do you want me to go? Should I have slipped out before you woke up? I know you said we needed to talk, but I want you to know I’m not expecting anything beyond this.”

“Becca, stop.” I grabbed her hands to calm her down.

“You said that last night.”

“What?”

“You called me Becca. No one has called me that since Micah died. I wouldn’t let them. That was what he called me, and I couldn’t hear it anymore.”

Shit.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“No, it’s ok. Actually, that was the moment. When you called me Becca, it was like all the pieces finally slipped back into place. Everything just fit again.”

FUCK! I closed my eyes.

I was going to hell, and I knew it.

“Becca, listen. I need to tell you something.”

Before I could tell her the truth, there was a loud knock on the door. Then I heard Jack bellow, “Load up in thirty. If you want to eat, you better get your asses downstairs pronto.”

“Shit, the run. We need to get dressed. We can talk after the run,” I said, jumping from the bed to grab our clothes. “Will you ride with me? I want you on the back of my bike, so everyone knows you’re mine.”

“Yours? This wasn’t just a onetime thing?” she asked quietly, looking at her hands in her lap.

Leaning back on the bed I lifted her chin, “No, baby, you’re mine. I’ve got you now and I’m never letting you go again.”

Kissing her hard, I hoped she didn’t catch what I said.

I needed to have that talk with her. I didn’t want to, but she hated me last week, and I brought her around.

Maybe I could do it again.

“Ok,” she said with a smile and climbed out of bed to get dressed.

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