Page 91 of Blade

I felt my face flame and turned away.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked. His hand grabbing my chin, dragging my eyes back to his.

“I… I can’t be what the club girls are. I haven’t…”

Closing my eyes, the words were hard to articulate with his eyes on me. “I can’t do the things they do.”

“Hey,” Blade murmured. “Eyes open, baby.”

I slowly looked up at him, mortified.

“If I wanted to be with one of them, they would be here. I won’t lie. There have been women over the years, but I haven’t been with any of the girls downstairs. I haven’t been with anyone in town either.”

“You don’t…? With anyone?” I asked, not quite believing he was innocent.

“Well, I didn’t say that. I’m a guy. We mostly only think about one thing,” he admitted with a chuckle, and I thought ofhimagain.

I couldn’t think ofhimright now. I wouldn’t be able to do this if I was consumed with memories, or a future that wasn’t possible.

“But I can control it. When the mood struck, I drove out of town. I always hoped I would settle down one day, but didn’t think it was in the cards. If there was even a slight chance I might have an old lady one day, I didn’t want her to have to face women I had been with,” he explained, shrugging like what he just said wasn’t the most romantic panty dropping line there ever was.

I leaned up, taking his lips, hoping I could show him everything he made me feel. It wasn’t long before he took over the kiss, pulling me from every doubt that assailed me. Proving wrong, every intrusive thought that led me to believe he couldn’t possibly want me.

Without a word, he surged into me, and I cried out.

FUDGE NUGGET!

I knew there would be pain without him telling me, but nothing could prepare me for how it actually felt.

“Lay still, baby, give it a minute. Let your body adjust,” he cooed between kisses. His thumb moved to my clit, rubbing in slow circles, spreading heat once again, and I swiftly forgot about the pain.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment. Eyes on me, baby; I want to watch you feel every inch of my cock bringing you to the peak.”

My eyes widened at his declaration. We had only known each other for less than two weeks, and for the first half of that he did everything he could to make me hate him, but as I looked into his eyes, I could see the truth of his words.

He moved in and out slowly. His beautiful chocolate eyes watched me so intently.

Ignoring what was happening to my body, I laid there, lost in his gaze. It was like he was making love to my soul, not just my body.

“You’re perfect, Becca. You always have been,” he murmured, and I closed my eyes. “Perfect for me. Made for me,” he chanted.

I couldn’t look at him anymore. He couldn’t see what I was feeling. I knew it was wrong but, in my mind, I could seehim. A vision ofhisface the last day I sawhimmerged with the man above me.

My past and present had me caught between the two. Entangled in the memories of the boy I loved and the man who had been the first to make me feel loved since I losthim.

A man I could easily fall in love with. My breath caught at that thought and my eyes opened wide at the realization that maybe this was letting go.

My eyes watered. He noticed the tear as soon as it fell, and he leaned down to kiss it away.

“It’s ok, baby. Let go, I’ve got you now.”

I shattered at once and this time, I couldn’t contain it.

“JUSTIN!” I released his name, his real name. It was a life-changing moment. I needed to hear it for myself as much as for him. I needed to remember who I was clinging to, here in this moment.

Micah was gone. He wasn’t coming back. No more living in the past with him. That wasn’t what I wanted.

I wanted a future, a husband and children. I wanted to be someone’s Grams one day.

---