Page 37 of Blade

Avery took the girls back to the couch while Ryder took my hand and headed for the door.

I looked back at Avery and, though she was busy with the girls, she looked over her shoulder at Ryder and me.

I wished I could put her mind at ease.

“So, where are we headed?” Ryder still hadn’t let go of my hand.

“We’re going for a walk.”

He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it.

When he noticed my eyes widen, he laughed. “Don’t worry, there’s a reason I’m not letting go of your hand, and it isn’t what you think.”

I walked along, not really paying attention to where we were going, as my thoughts turned to Ryder and Avery.

Avery was clearly interested in Ryder. Why wouldn’t she be? Ryder was a hot single dad. He was literally what romance books wrote about.

I was curious how old Avery was, and how long she had been taking care of the girls. She had some pretty powerful feelings about Tammi, so she must have known her. Ryder said she had been gone for two years, so I imagined Avery had been around at least that long. She looked about Lily’sage. Lily was nineteen, so Avery might have watched the girls at seventeen. Maybe earlier than that.

Was Avery the reason Ryder and Tammi split?

No, I knew Ryder better than that. Avery would have been underage. Then again, I have been gone eight years. People changed over the years.

Lord knew I had.

When I looked up at Ryder to ask him about Avery, I saw where we were.

“No,” I whispered.

I couldn’t be here.

I couldn’t do this.

Not here, not now.

I wasn’t ready for this.

I wasn’t ready to let go.

I stopped, pulling back on Ryder’s hand.

“Beck.”

“Why did you bring me here? I don’t want to be here.”

“Have you been here at all since the funeral?”

Looking around the cemetery, my eyes burned.

I couldn’t be here. Pulling my hand, I tried to break away from Ryder’s grip. I looked around for my escape when Ryder took my other hand and stood in front of me.

“Beck, it’s been ten years. That night at the clubhouse, it was clear you hadn’t moved forward. You can’t even say his name.”

“I don’t need to say his name,” I snapped. “He’s gone, Ryder. Saying his name won’t bring him back.”

“Avoiding your grief won’t bring him back, either. Where did you get stuck? My guess would be depression.You’re almost there, Beck. Acceptance is the last step. That’s the one that helps you move on.”

“I don’t want to move on. I don’t want to accept it.”

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