Page 15 of Stolen Moments

Luka looked over her shoulder at Melia clearing their picnic area in the distance. “Yes.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of. I knew this would happen. She’s spunky, and she brought life into our house when it only smelled of death. I’m happy you found each other. I want her to know that this is okay. I tried to talk to her about it, but she was either ashamed or didn’t know what to say. She’s a subbie too, deep down. Right now, she is fighting her feelings, same as you. And I want her to know that this is what’s right.” Susan began to cough.

Luka took her into his arms and started to lead her back. “Okay, Cupid, calm down. Let’s get you home and in bed and we’ll finish this conversation later.”

In the car, Susan laid her head in Melia’s lap. Susan hugged her waist and murmured just before she fell asleep, “I’m so glad you’re a part of my family.”

Chapter Eight

Later that night…

Susan looked so small amongst the pillows and blankets in her bed. Luka and Melia worked quietly and quickly to make her comfortable. Susan was very pale, her sunken eyes rimmed with dark circles, and her dry, cracked lips had taken on a purple-bluish tinge. Her breath was shallow and ragged, and when Melia had taken her pulse it was irregular. It pained her deeply to know that Susan was approaching the end of her days although she had known it would come eventually. Luka’s hands trembled as he smoothed the blankets over his sick wife. He tenderly straightened the knit cap she wore that served the dual purpose of hiding her bald head, and keeping it warm. He, too, knew that Susan’s time was coming to an end. And he wondered if he was ready for it.

Luka shook his head and struggled to blink away his tears. His voice cracked as he turned to Melia, “I knew—I knew it was a bad idea to go out today. The air, the physical effort—it was too… much.”

“Shhh,” Melia whispered. “It’s not your fault. Come, she’s tired and needs to rest.”

Melia made them both a cup of tea while Luka sat with his head in his hands in the living room.

Luka gestured his thanks for the cup of tea Melia offered him. “Luka.”

He didn’t look up from the cup he was so intently studying.

“Luka, the only thing you can do for her is to make sure that her last days are as comfortable and happy as possible. What you did today was great. Susan is stubborn.”

Luka snorted. “That’s an understatement.”

Melia shook her head with impatience. “The point is Susan is getting sicker and being able to do these types of things while she still has the strength to get around issoimportant. The last of her days need to be filled with love.”

“I know that there isn’t a lot of time left.” He sighed. “I knew this day was going to come eventually. I guess I thought I’d be more prepared.” He laughed bitterly. “I guess no one can be prepared for this.”

Melia felt sympathy for his pain.

“I wanted to be strong—whatever that means. I wanted to face the end with courage, but it’s not the end that scares me anymore. I’m just trying to figure out what comes next.” He looked at Melia, but she flushed and looked at her hands.

When she looked up, Luka seemed so lost and pitiful that she rushed to his side and held his hands in hers. She lost herself for a second and raised his hands clasped inside hers to her lips. She kissed them. The way he looked at her broke her heart.

She sprang back into her armchair and looked at Luka. “When I was a kid, I ended up in foster care. My father had died and my mom was unfit to take care of me. I bounced from home to home. It was awful. I didn’t know what it was like to belong to a family or to a home. For the longest time, I felt lost. I was always getting involved with dirt bags, guys who didn’t care about me. Which was fine — I didn’t care about me either. Until I came here. You and Susan.” Her words caught in her throat, but she pressed on. “You have been the only home I have ever known.” Melia choked back a sob. “I am so grateful to you guys for opening your home to me. You have no idea what it’s meant. Before I came here, my life was a mess. I have come to love Susan. It will be sad to have to say goodbye to her, and the worst”—Melia covered her mouth and her chest, and took a deep breath— “the worst will be leaving this home.”

Now it was Luka who tried to come to her side. Melia felt her heart shattering into a thousand jagged pieces. She wanted nothing more than to disappear into the armchair as she was filled with a sorrow so complete she had no words to describe it. Susan’s death would deprive her of a friendandthe man she loved. It was too much for her to bear in that moment.

“Melia.” Luka cupped her face and locking his gaze with hers. She couldn’t help but appreciate just how beautiful he was. “Melia, I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other night. I know we said that it could never happen again, but it doesn’t have to be that way.”

Melia opened her eyes wide and jumped out of her seat. “No. No, no, no.” She shook her head and backed away. She couldn’t do this. Not to Susan, not to herself. She ran upstairs, knowing what she had to do.

In her bedroom, Melia struggled to stuff all of her things back into the boxes and suitcase she had brought with her only three months prior. She cried bitterly, hot tears streaming down her face... She cried until she was breathless with sorrow, and hiccupping, she threw herself onto the bed and fell asleep. When she awoke, it was dark. She reached for the lamp and looked at the clock next to her bed. It was past midnight. Her head was heavy and pounded with the headache that always followed a good cry. In the bathroom, she splashed ice-cold water onto her puffy face. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her eyelids were swollen. She smoothed her hair, packed her toiletries into a box, and sat down at her desk.

She took out two envelopes from a drawer, and while everything she felt was still fresh, she wrote a letter to Susan and one to Luka. When she was done and satisfied, she stuffed the letters under a corner of book on the desk.

Making her bed for the last time, she trailed her fingers over all the books and smiled. This was the best thing for her, and she knew it. This was part of being an adult, she told herself. Sometimes, it was necessary to walk away from the most desired things in order to salvage the wreckage of one’s life.

She nodded to herself and walked out quietly, hoping to make her exit without being heard.

* * *

The next day, he felt terrible that she had misunderstood him. He wanted to kick himself for starting the conversation the way he had. She probably thought he was trying to convince her to commit adultery and cheat on Susan with him, that he only wanted to use her. If only she knew how he felt — that he loved her. Every fiber of his being needed to know that she loved him, too. He longed to tell her that Susan had orchestrated this, that he wasn’t a monster. The look of horror and disgust as she backed away from him had hurt him to his core. She had to know that she had misread him; he wasn’t capable of cheating on Susan. He had struggled so much to stay away from her throughout the last couple of months. He hadn’t succumbed to mere lust though; he had wanted to touch her because he loved her. He frowned into the cup of coffee he was preparing for Melia—a peace offering.

Carefully, trying not to spill any of the hot liquid, he mounted the stairs. He softly knocked at the door with his foot and waited. He felt like a child rushing to the tree on Christmas morning; that same exhilarating anticipation kept a goofy smile on his face. He knocked again, thinking that perhaps she was sleeping or in the bathroom. He rehearsed what he would tell her over and over in his mind. He was sorry to disturb her; that he wanted to clear up the misunderstanding they had had the night before; that he wanted to preface everything with telling her that he loved her. Susan had known he would love her and that’s why she had chosen her. Luka grinned as he thought about it.

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