Page 40 of Taming His Rockstar

Chapter 19

Two months later, I sit in my dressing room, five minutes away from climbing the stage, and for the first time in years, I feel myself getting just a little bit of stage fright. All this because Jake finally said yes to attending one of my shows. It’s not the first time I asked him, but he always told me he was too busy or had other plans, and to be honest, I tried not to feel just a little bit hurt by that. Then he told me Rayne’s birthday is coming up, and he needed a really cool birthday present for her. I like Rayne. She keeps me company whenever I come to the club, and she’s always nice and cool around me. We have even become kind of friends, and one time, when I went to the club hoping to surprise Jake only to learn he wasn’t coming in, Rayne and I spent the whole night just chatting. She seems to know a lot about Jake, and I’m happy to talk about him. So, I had no problem giving him the tickets, but only on the condition that he also came along. He grinned and said okay. Then he bent me over his couch and thanked me properly for the gift. Five minutes ago, he called to say that he and Rayne were already in the concert hall. I asked if they would like to come with me, but he said they were going for drinks before they came.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I tell myself to snap out of it. Jesus H. Christ, it’s like I’m playing in those divvy clubs again, trying to impress the crowd. Only this time, there’s just one person I’m trying to impress. The door opens and I whirl around, eyes wide in bewilderment that quickly turns to relief when I see it’s just Jane.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jane asks, staring at me strangely.

“Nothing.” I turn back to the mirrors, checking to make sure my makeup is still fine. It is.

“Jake is already here. He asked if he could come check up on you, but I told him after the show.”

“Good.” I nod, still feeling nervous. “I don’t think I can see him now.”

“Katie.” Jane sits on the arm of the couch and tugs at my hand. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I have stage fright,” I blurt out.

“What?” she looks suspiciously at me. “Please, don’t tell me it’s because of Jake.”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh Christ, it’s because of him, isn’t it?” She reaches for the lower drawer of my dressing table and brings out a bottle of Jack Daniels. “I can’t remember the last time you needed a drink to take the edge off before a performance. And I can’t believe a guy is making you nervous. We’re not in high school, Katie.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I take the shot she places in my hand but don’t drink it. “What if things go bad? I mean, it’s a show; things go wrong in shows.”

“And what if they do? You know that’s not the issue, the problem is why does it bother you so much not to look bad in front of this guy? He is just the guy you’re banging, remember?”

I look up at her. “I don’t think he’s just the guy I’m banging anymore.” I throw back the shot and grimace as it burns my throat. One shot is all I used to need. Not enough to get drunk or even tipsy. Just enough to tell myself I’m in control, and it seems to work because I calm down a bit.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“That I went ahead and fell in love with my one-night stand?” I laugh at myself. “Yeah, how stupid is that?”

“It’s not stupid, and to be honest, I’ve known for quite a while now.”

“How long have you known?”

“The morning after the second night you spent in his place.”

“What?That’s not possible.”

“Just goes to show you I know you better than you know yourself. And as much as you like to tell yourself otherwise, and all the songs about having flings left and right, I’ve always known you can’t have an affair with someone you’re not emotionally invested in. You going back to Jake the second time just told me it was only a matter of time before you fell in love with him.”

“Then why didn’t you stop me?” I ask quietly.

“Because you said he was funny and smart. Because you said he made you laugh, and I could see that made you happy. Because I didn’t get creepy vibes when I met him and because I think you also deserve true love.” She moves close to me. “Look, I know I’m your manager and the fact that your music is the most important thing in your life is great for me. But I am also your friend, which means I want you to be happy. It means I also want you to find what I found with Travis. A man who would make you happy. Not that I’m saying you need a man to make you happy. Just that you didn’t close yourself to the possibility of it.”

I wrap my hand around her neck and hug her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, hon.”

“Not sure it worked out how you hoped it would though. I don’t think he likes me quite as much as I like him.”

“And you’re sure about that?”

“We don’t go out, apart from the club. Sure, we talk and have fun in private and spend hours on the phone. But it’s always in this private world where it’s just the both of us. And he doesn’t stop reminding me that this is just a fling. I had to blackmail him into accepting this ticket.”

“Maybe it’s just because you’ve not demanded more from him. Travis’s birthday is this weekend, and I’m throwing him a small party. Just you and a couple of our friends. You can invite Jake, see if he wants to come or something.”

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