Page 159 of Ride With Me

The atmosphere is relaxed, I force a smile and grab a beer from the coffee table, pretending as if nothing happened.

I make a point to sit away from Leo, not quite ready to be so close to him just yet. The tension between us still feels palpable, a mix of unresolved feelings and the lingering anger from earlier. He notices my attempt to keep my distance but doesn’t say anything, just rolls his eyes.

Magnus picks up on the awkwardness and, with a playful but pointed tone, says, “It’s none of my business, but I have to ask, what is going on with you two? I thought you said you were celebrating your anniversary?”

The room stays silent and I can feel my cheeks heat up as all eyes turn to me, especially Leo’s, who raises an eyebrow as if he’s intrigued by how I’ll respond. I suddenly wish I could shrink into the couch and avoid this conversation completely.

“Celebrating by going camping,” I snap, frustration slipping through despite my efforts to maintain composure. I grab the bottle of Budweiser, feeling the cool glass against my palm, and chug half of it in one go, hoping to drown out the awkwardness simmering around us.

As the crisp taste hits my throat, I can’t help but glance over at Leo, who’s watching with a mix of anger and sadness. For a moment, I can see a flicker of something vulnerable behind his eyes.

I set the bottle down a little harder than intended, the sound echoing in the quiet cabin. “So, yeah. Camping. Just a little time to ourselves,” I add, attempting to brush off my earlier sharpness. “You know, nature, fresh air... all that cliché stuff.”

"Is it really so terrible that I didn’t want to blow a couple of grand just to lounge in the sun somewhere abroad?" Leo questions, his tone light but laced with a hint of defensiveness.

“It wouldn’t bejustsitting if you weren’t so hellbent on avoiding me.”

“Tell me, Mason, what could possibly make me want anything more from you when you treat me like this?” he asks,his voice steady but filled with a mixture of hurt and frustration. The words hang in the air between us, heavy with unspoken truths.

Before I can reply, Magnus raises his hands, effortlessly cutting through our argument. “I’m only going to say this once,” he begins, a serious look on his face as he glances between the two of us, “and if you want me to back off, just say the word.”

He takes a deep breath, clearly gathering his thoughts. “Since we're stuck here for a while, how about we talk about what’s really going on between you two? Because honestly, I’d rather not spend the next couple of hours listening to you bicker back and forth.”

As soon as Magnus finishes, Leo jumps in to decline, but I beat him to the punch, my voice shaking slightly but resolute. “Actually, yes, it might help us put an end to all this shit,” I say, surprising even myself with the confidence in my tone.

Leo quickly shifts his gaze away from me, avoiding eye contact as if I’d just thrown him a curveball he wasn’t ready for. I can feel the tension crackling in the air, but there’s a sense of determination pushing me forward. With Magnus sitting there as our reluctant referee, I take a deep breath and begin to explain.

I start from the beginning, how Leo and I first met as kids, how our friendship flowed so easily, feeling like we had known each other forever. I dive into the ups and downs of our relationship, the laughter and the misunderstandings. As I recount the times we felt closer than ever, I also don’t shy away from the darker moments, the arguments that seemed to come out of nowhere, the stubbornness that got in the way.

I find myself talking for what feels like an eternity, throwing my emotions out there for Magnus to hear and for Leo to process. Half an hour in, my face is flushed red, and I can feel theheat creeping down my neck. My body is buzzing with a restless energy, anxious and vulnerable from laying it all bare.

“It’s like we’re constantly on this seesaw,” I say, trying to explain the strain of it all. “One moment I feel like we're connected, and the next, it’s like I’m fighting for his attention just to have him see me. I don’t get where we stand anymore.” I finally pause, feeling the weight of my words lingering in the air, and I glance over at Leo, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Magnus watches me closely, encouraging but silent, as if he’s giving me the space we need. “So that’s where we’re at,” I finish, swallowing hard, my heart racing.

“Have you guys actually sat down and communicated these issues?” Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow. Before I can muster any kind of response, he adds, “Without screaming and shouting at each other.”

That one hits home. I fall silent, the realisation washing over me like a cold wave. He’s right. We’ve never truly spoken about our problems, not in a way that felt constructive or meaningful. For years, we danced around the edges, trading jabs and nasty words that only served to deepen the rift between us. I can feel my chest tighten as the weight of that truth settles over me.

Leo shifts slightly, still avoiding my gaze, but I notice a slight furrow in his brow. Maybe he’s realising the same thing. Magnus’s words linger in the air, urging us to confront a reality we’ve both been afraid to face.

“I guess we haven’t,” I admit finally, my voice quieter now. “It’s easier to hurl insults than to actually sit down and figure out what’s wrong, I suppose.”

“Do you guys love each other?” Magnus asks suddenly, his tone serious yet probing, he then stands up and walks into the kitchen. He returns moments later, a bottle of vodka in one hand and three shot glasses in the other.

He sets the glasses down on the coffee table, pouring a shot for each of us while keeping his gaze fixed on us, expectant. The question hangs in the air, and I can feel the weight of it pressing down on both Leo and me.

“Yes,” I say finally, my voice softer than I intended. “I love you, Leo, but that hasn’t been enough lately.”

“Do you guys still fuck?” Magnus asks bluntly, his eyes locked on us with a mix of curiosity and concern.

Leo chokes on his shot of vodka, reacting as if he’s just swallowed fire. I raise my eyebrows at Magnus, partly in disbelief and partly in appreciation for his willingness to cut through the awkwardness. When I look over at Leo, I can see his face turning a shade of crimson.

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the truth settle in my stomach. “We don’t really have sex as often as we used to,” I find myself saying, feeling oddly liberated in the confession. “And when we do, it feels kind of forced and rushed. It’s like we’re trying to check off a box instead of enjoying each other.”

There’s a pause, a charged silence where our vulnerabilities hang in the air. Leo seems uncomfortable, shifting slightly in his seat, avoiding meeting my gaze.

“And our intimacy is pretty much non-existent. We live together, but Leo never seems to be home. And when he is, he locks himself away in his office.” I shrug, a mixture of frustration and sadness mingling in my chest. “It’s like we’re roommates more than anything else.”

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