Page 96 of Royally Drawn

Alexandra’s body went through hell and back. The media was still angry she hadn’t walked out carrying the new baby even though she couldn’t do the stairs yet. I felt for her. It had to be rough to miss out on so much when your sister—and best friend—was getting married.

I listened to Ingrid’s breathing slow and felt her relax into me—deeper now. Contentment settled over us both.

“I love you,” Ingrid said sweetly.

“I love you, too, baby.”

I kissed her shoulder again.

Ingrid went dark. “I don’t want you to go.”

She turned to face me, her expression killing me. I didn’t want to disappoint this beautiful woman—the woman who trusted me more than anyone had ever trusted me. My responsibility was to care for her, not actively hurt her.

“I don’t want to go. I mean, I do. It’s my job. I wish my job could be where you are.”

Ingrid nodded, looking depressed.

“I will be back in spring,” I promised. “And so will you.”

“That’s so long off, mon cher.”

“I know. But nothing I can say will make any of this easier for you, Ingrid. You are the one I want most. You know that. The problem is, my life isn’t linear like that. It’s not like I can stay with you every day. If I could, I would.”

Her blue eyes took on that turquoise colour they did when she was about to start sobbing. My heart couldn’t handle it. This is why I avoided goodbyes. I never told anyone I was breaking up with them until I went on tour, rang them, and said it was over. I couldn’t dothat to Ingrid. I couldn’t shatter her heart like that. She was different.

“I don’t mean to hurt you, Ingrid,” I promised. “I would never hurt you for the sake of making my life easier. I am not proud to admit I have before, but I won’t be like that with you.”

“Then… after this assignment. Can you stay local? Stay in Norfolk, maybe?”

“I have another year left, Ingrid.”

“And your aunt could intervene,” Ingrid said.

She was right. If I went to Aunt Natalie, I could ask for her to find me something closer to home. She would understand more than anyone and could do as she pleased. However, I would never ask for that. It was a dereliction of duty to stay home and leave others in harm’s way. It insulted me to my core.

“Let’s see what happens while I’m over there,” I said. “I will likely get a cush assignment next time and won’t have to interfere. I promise that when you want more, I will give it to you.”

Her face broke into a smile. “Really?”

I nodded. “When you are ready for whatever comes after the Olympics, I will be ready, too.”

“You assume I will make it.”

I kissed her forehead and said, “I know you will make it. I’ve never been more sure of anything. Ingrid, I know you will do great things. And while it sucks for me to be over there, you’re going to be so busy training you’ll hardly miss me.”

I knew it wasn’t true. I knew I’d miss her like I’d never missed anyone, and she’d miss me just as much. However, we told ourselves lies to make it through difficult days. The human condition required denial for survival. I sidestepped the conversation for now.

Wanting More

INGRID

“He’s very handsome in his uniform.”

The scratchy voice came from the only human who could make every word sound wretched. I saw my grandmother, Celeste, sitting in her wheelchair near the table slated for family at the reception. She’d not been placed here. Instead, she’d been seated with Parker’s mother and their family. Parker’s mother was loathsome, so it made sense to saddle them with the world’s most controlling dowager queen.

She had been watching me watching Keir as he danced with Betty. Hewashandsome. He was endlessly attractive, made only more by his dress uniform. He and Betty laughed. The two and a half years between her and me seemed to be an ocean these days. She was less of a friend and more of a little sister. I struggled to feel as girlish as I did six months before. My whole life changed from what it was. I’d grown up while she remained youthful and silly.

“He’s handsome, yes. And good to me,” I said, annoyed.

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