Page 100 of Royally Drawn

“Fine, fine,” I grumbled. Debating her was foolhardy.

She hung over me still.

“I’m only wearing pants,” I protested. “Let me at least put clothes on.”

“I used to change your nappies. I promise you that in the time it takes you to get a damn dressing gown on, I won’t be scandalised. I am more concerned you will pull another runner.”

I groaned, walking over to where my dressing gown was hung on the bathroom door.

“You know, Alexandra is cross—very cross—but Rick would like to string you up by your testicles,” Aunt Natalie said.

“I did what was best for Ingrid.”

“Shattering that pretty little thing’s heart was not best. I can assure you.”

“She will find someone else in a minute,” I said. “She’s perfect.”

“And yet, not good enough for you to treat her with even amodicumof respect?”

I stared at my aunt, confused.

“I didn’t disrespect her. I let her go.”

“I thought you loved her? I thought she was different?”

“I am leaving to get shot at for six months. She wanted me to promise I’d not leave again when I returned. She was being silly—young perhaps—and I don’t have time to promise people things I cannot guarantee.”

“Keir, you can always retire or go to desk work. If you love her?—”

“I do! God, why does everyone assume that I do not love her just because I’m not racing to marry her or go public? Do you not understand that I am miserable without her? That I hate myself for this but know it is for the best?”

“She gave you an ultimatum about marriage?”

“Not quite. She said she couldn’t stay with me if I weren’t interested in marriage and children.”

“That’s fair,” my aunt said. And I would say it’s normal for a woman in her twenties to say.”

“Well, I couldn’t promise that for certain.”

“Keir, you will get married and have children someday. Why is it that all of you boys live in some fairytale where you get to shag as many people as you want forever without ever having to consider your actions? You do need to settle down someday. Life will pass you by otherwise.”

“People can have long, beautiful lives without children,” I said.

“They can. I thought I would have to make that for myself,” my aunt admitted. “I had Uncle Ed, and that was enough. It really would have been, I think. But that wasn’t mychoice. We wanted a baby. Or, rather, I needed to have children, and your uncle was broody.”

“He was the broody one?”

Aunt Natalie nodded. “Oh, for sure. I told him I needed a few years but would give him children. I just wanted a bit more time to keep flying and living. And for me, that wasn’t very easy. You cannot be a fast jet pilot if you think you might be pregnant. I was pregnant with Duncan and didn’t know until I got GLOC on a training run. If I were flying alone, we both could have died. But I was told we never would have a baby. So, I took great pride in helping you all. I love you all in a way I don’t think most aunts ever get to. You all are my pride and joy, too. But damn it, Keir, I had to be brave and commit to Edwin. It took a lot of trying to fight it to realise I needed to slow down to die happy.”

“And what if I think being so tied down is bad?”

“Is that because you fear commitment, or is it because you are afraid if you love someone, they will abandon you? That you will lose them?”

Her words cut like a knife—harsh but true. I couldn’t focus. I reeled.

“I…. I don’t…”

“Keir, you lost your father at a tender age. But you must remember that Ingrid grew up with no one apart from her sisters. And she somehow formed this attachment to you and trusted you. Now, all you’ve taught her is that people always leave. And for you? You’ve once more supported your stupid theory that you’re incapable of being a good partner.”

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