Page 82 of Royally Rivalled

“Astrid, love, I’m not upset, alright?”

I pulled her chin towards mine. “You’re allowed to have big feelings. I’m shit at receiving them. I might not just drop an L-bomb like that, but… I do adore you. What’s more, I admire you so much. I could stare at you and… I often wish I could be as witty or defiant as you can be.”

“Really?”

I chuckled. “Yes, Astrid. You are special to me. I’m not upset if you want to say it. You can keep saying it. I won’t stop you.”

She relaxed, wrapping her arms around me and buried her head in my shirt.

“I love you,” she repeated.

Astrid let out feelings she either did or did not know she held back. I held her close, kissing the top of her head. She was wonderful. I rubbed her back and stood there, feeling her pace slow and breathing ease.

“I don’t say that to people.” Astrid stepped back. “I don’t… it is hard for me. And to drop it like that to anyone but my sisters—or Rick because I do love him—it’s… hard.”

“I struggle to say it to anyone at all,” I said. “So, forgive me if it takes time.”

She smiled and nodded. “I understand. It took ages for my sister to admit it to Rick. Everyone has their own pace.”

I was grateful she understood.

“I feel safe with you,” Astrid admitted. “I let you fuck me and tell you things because I trust you. Trust is hard for me. It’s why sometimes I fight you tooth and nail and feel you’re out to get me. I’m fucked up.”

“I disagree,” I said. “I think you are exceptional. And resilient. Perhaps you struggle sometimes. I know I do. You’ve lost a lot of people dear to you, seen a lot of pain, and you’re far from everything you ever knew. I am fucking proud of you, Astrid. Proud to know you.”

Tears welled again. The dam broke, and she sobbed.

“Astrid, what did I say?”

“Just the sweetest thing anyone has ever said,” Astrid said. “And more than I probably deserve. You’re just lovesick and being sympathetic?—”

I shook my head and pulled her back to me. “I’m not, Astrid. I am incapable of sugar-coating things. It’s one of my flaws. You deserve the world. All this—even a hotel suite on a bloody Monday morning.”

She laughed. “Thank you. Thank you for just… being you. For saying it all.”

“You deserve it, Astrid.”

She grabbed a tissue and pulled herself together. “Now, I’m sorry. I could… well you can always…“

“Astrid, we can simply relax, order food, cuddle. It doesn’t matterto me. Okay? I needed a break. No housemates. We’re grown-ups. I know we both like the crutch of having our mates around, but… we need some personal space.”

Astrid nodded.

“And, you assume this is a dealbreaker, but for me, it’s not,” I said.

“What?”

“The easiest way to manage it is to do it in the shower.”

“What?”

“Period sex. Has no one told you this is a thing people do? Of course, we don’t have to, but it’s an option.”

“You wouldn’t be like… grossed out?”

“Nah. What’s a little blood?”

“You want to fuck mesobadly, you’d set this aside.”

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