Page 107 of Royally Rivalled

“I am twenty-seven, Mother! Not forty-seven! I’m well aware of myobligations, but if I wed someone, I would want to know that she is the love of my life. I love Astrid and want to try with her.”

fifty-eight

ASTRID

Briggs metme in his office, excited to discuss my transition to the doctoral program—or something like it. I was prepared and happy to sign my letter of intent. However, Briggs offered something else. Unfortunately, this offer would sharply depart from what I had planned. I wanted to transition to the doctoral program and stay with Parker—growing whatever budding happiness we’d built. I wanted more of what I had. I wasn’t looking for more than that.

“I know you came here to sign your letter. I was excited to see that, Astrid.”

“I am excited about it, too,” I bubbled.

“Unfortunately, I cannot be the one to do that—anymore.”

My face dropped. “What did I do?”

“Oh, Astrid, it is nothing you did. It is whatIdid. And despite that, I am not here to leave you hanging.”

I cocked my head, confused.

“I accepted an offer at Edinburgh. It’s a promotion,” Briggs said. “And as a condition, I cannot take on more graduate students here. Most of mine are graduating this year—notably Parker Westfall. His defence?—”

“I know. It’s coming up,” I said. “He’s nervous.”

“I am so glad the two of you figured it out and get on now. He always speaks well of you.”

If only you knew what we’d been up to two hours ago or planned to get up to later!

“I am, too,” I said.

“Astrid, I have spots for students and will be very selective with who I take. You have two choices. You can stay on and sign your letter with another faculty member who will pull you into their service. You can build a new committee around that person and develop a new thesis idea. Alternatively, you can follow me to Edinburgh. I will have more resources there. You’d be a big fish. I highly encourage you to follow me.”

That was easy for him to say! He had no idea that my life washere. I wasn’t just any postgrad. I was a postgrad with a boyfriend who loved me. And that boyfriend couldn’t just up and move to Edinburgh! Choosing my career meant potentially losing Parker. I didn’t want to choose. It was horrendous.

“I will give you some time to think about it, alright?”

I knew that with Briggs going, my entire thesis topic would change. No one else studied social policy. I’d have to switch to public opinion or international political economy—neither was my first or even third choice.

“This is a generous offer,” I said. “And I appreciate you telling me. However, I do not know if I want to leave Shalestone.”

“I know,” Briggs said sincerely. “But, Astrid, I highly encourage you to take this next step. I see great things for you in the academy. You are gifted. I appreciate your contributions—we all do. Parker’s about-face on you speaks volumes.”

If only you knew how much he loved me! If only you knew what pain this would cause!

I nodded. “I very much appreciate your confidence in me. I will mull it over.”

“I’ve not said anything to others yet—outside the chair and senior faculty—so I’d appreciate it if you were discreet.”

I nodded. “None of the others know? Not even Parker?”

“No,” Briggs answered. “I’ll tell him next week.”

I couldn’t hide this from Parker that long. I knew I’d crack. He had arightto know, didn’t he? I knew Parker would be gutted.

“I will keep it under wraps,” I packed off.

Leaving, I felt like my life ended. I went home to get dressed for dinner, which I now dreaded. I’d be lying to Parker either way. I longed to tell him. I knew he couldn’t just pick up and move, but maybe he’d be okay with something long-distance. I wasn’t sure I was, but we could try. I didn’t want to lose him.

“Hey darling,” Amara dipped into my bathroom.

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