“Help me out?”
“Other than you're dead sexy, and any man would be daft to turn you down?”
She giggled.
“Look, I was a late bloomer. I lost my virginity to an older friend between my second and third year of university.”
“An older woman took your virginity?”
I shook my head. “You're not allowed to judge me, Astrid.”
“How did that happen?”
“We hooked up at a party. She came onto me. I was her little brother's friend, but things were different that night. We ended up in bed, and I was nervous. I came clean. She relished it—was patient with me,put up with my inexperience, and I wasn't too shit. We ran around all summer—escaping to have a go of it.”
“Scandalous. Age gap?”
“Four years,” I answered.
“Naughty boy. Did he ever find out?”
“Yes. And he never spoke to me again.”
“Was it worth it?”
“She taught me how to be a decent lover, and he was an immature asshole at times, so yes.”
Astrid giggled, preoccupied with my chest hair. “Excuse me. I’ve never seen a man naked in real life until today. There's a novelty in it.”
“I can assure you anytime I see a woman naked, I take note. Everybody is different, Astrid. Every curve. Every nipple. Every pussy. It's lovely.”
“You aresodifferent than I ever expected.”
“Different good?”
“Different delightful.”
I chuckled nervously.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s… I never convert. And I had no business doing this with you.”
“You came onto me,” Astrid said.
“Yes. I got brave. You should be off-limits. I shouldn't be doing this.”
“Why? I was a willing participant.”
“Because I work one-on-one with you. We’re teaching together this year. You and I must finish this work on Briggs's chapter, Astrid.”
Astrid kissed me slowly. “We can try to keep it under wraps. Who must know? Who says I want to be your girlfriend? We don’t even really like one another outside of this, right? So, can’t we have fun?”
Surprised, I froze. What was this? I wanted her. But did I want herthatbadly? Dating a princess seemed like a lot of work. Would it be well-accepted by society? Yes. It would be on-brand. It would tick all the aristocratic boxes. But Astrid was young, naive, and had a lot of institutional baggage.
“Well, not at this moment. I didn't read that as your intent, Astrid.”
“See, that's the thing. I will always appreciate you for this. But you aren't beholden to me. I am trying to shake off the ties that bound me to my merciless maidenhead.”