Page 16 of Royally Rivalled

“Don’t youwantto be happy?”

“I want to, yes. Do you think I don’t?”

The server arrived.

“Sorry, just a minute while we figure this out,” I apologised.

She nodded and left. I turned back to my sushi selections, silently seething. Ashleigh was a child. She didn’t know what life was like for grown-ups, how miserable running the estate was, or how awful it was to feel like a walking pocketbook. I shielded her from that.

The server returned, and we ordered. I hoped the subject was dropped, but it wasn’t. Ashleigh looked at me, her eyes boring a hole into my soul.

“I love you,” she said, “but I worry—about all of us. Since Daddy died?—”

I cut her off. “I don’t want to talk about what Daddy’s wishes were. He wanted me to finish my degree. He wanted me—all of us—to be happy. Mum keeps twisting it, and it’s not true.”

“I know.”

I softened. “You know?”

“I do,” Ashleigh said. “She does it because she wants to appear perfect for everyone. And she’s horrid at covering up how hard it is for all of us sometimes—and how much she hates asking you. Money and status are just… they’re her way of controlling things.”

“It’s unfair, though.”

Ashleigh shrugged. “Maybe? But I think you are unhappy—even with school. You just won’t admit it.”

I shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Parker, you don’t miss having a girlfriend?”

“Having a girlfriend was a nightmare! Do you remember how broken I was? Ashleigh, you don’t know the half of it.”

“I know she broke your heart, and you felt she was using you for a title. And while Mummy and Carolyn will disagree with me, I think that’s a fair reason to run away. I never liked her.”

“You didn’t?”

Ashleigh laughed. “No. I thought she was a bitch to you.”

It surprised me. “Okay.”

“I think you need a girlfriend. Or want one, rather.”

“Everyone keeps saying that! Let’s be clear: I would like an honest girlfriend with whom I could share things. Believe it or not, I’m not a dreadful boyfriend. And it’s not that I don’t like people. I likemypeople—the ones I choose. I don’t want to spend every waking night out here in London going to parties. If that is the expectation about my next steps or is what a partner would want, I don’t want it. I like other academics.”

“Then date another academic. I’ve dated other dancers because they understand, Parker.”

“It’s not that simple. I will finish up my degree and run back to Devon. My only prospects think I am invisible or won’t defend their thesis for years. It’s a long-distance thing, and I cannot do that again.”

“Parker, if you always put up walls and judge people, you will never move forward.”

“So, are you going to matchmake for me? You think you can do better?” I joked, wanting to end this conversation.

“I don’t know anything aboutthe academy.” She spoke with dramatic flair. “But I think you are judging women too harshly. Do I think a society girl like Mummy or Carolyn would pick is good for you, No?”

I frowned.

She giggled. “God, you’d be miserable! And any woman who signed up for a nerd like you would be a gold digger. I’d hate her.”

I snickered. “True. I follow.”

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