Page 76 of Proof

There was nothing intentionally sexual about the move, but it had to have been the most erotic thing I’d ever felt.

“Don’t tell anyone that because I’ve got my bad-boy image to maintain,” Cass whispered as if we weren’t alone.

It was all I could do not to laugh at his feigned seriousness. Of course, with him still running his calloused fingers up and down my arm, I wasn’t sure if I could even speak.

“I didn’t really know much about dating until I met this incredible young man a couple of years ago. Don’t get me wrong, he was drop-dead gorgeous, but when we went out the first time, it wasn’t his body that I couldn’t get enough of.”

Jealousy immediately sparked to life inside of me. I almost didn’t recognize the sensation since I’d never cared about anyone enough to want to keep them all to myself. “What couldn’t you get enough of?” I forced myself to ask even though I didn’t really want to know the answer.

“I guess it started with how sweet and shy he was. See, he had the kind of job where he had to be confident and smart. It was a physically demanding job but also required him to be able to communicate with all kinds of people, to empathize with them. He only used force when it was absolutely necessary,” Cass said with an easy smile.

He was talking about me… or rather, the me I’d been two years ago. The ugly green monster inside of me relaxed, though it didn’t disappear entirely. I was still envious ofthatJJ.

“I couldn’t get enough of him—and by that, I mean I could have spent the rest of my life just listening to him talk. Didn’t matter about what. He seemed to like listening to me too. That was new for me,” Cass said softly. He held my gaze for a long time while continuing to run his fingers up and down my arm.

“What happened to him?” I asked. Cass’s fingers chose that exact moment to brush along mine and without even thinking about it, I twined my fingers with his.

“We were forced to spend some time apart but when I saw him again, he was different.”

My stomach fell out and I tried to release his hand, but he refused to let go of my fingers. “Cass,” I whispered because I didn’t want to hear any more. I already hated the person who’d shot me, but the fury inside of me was different now. Not only had the fucker nearly taken my life, but he’d also stolen precious memories I could never get back. Cass’s description of our first date should have been one of those memories; one that I would have treasured for the rest of my life no matter how the relationship would’ve turned out.

“He’s stronger now,” Cass continued. “All the shit he’s been put through… I don’t know how he survived it, but I thank God every day that he did. He’s not as trusting as he used to be, but I think that someday he’ll be ready to give that privilege to someone he really cares about. He’s stubborn too—even more so than when he was a kid. He’s still as smart as a whip even though I don’t think he knows that. He knows now what it means to protect the people you love because he understands how quickly life can be stolen away, so he’s very protective of them. Anyway, he met this guy who’d become cruel and cold and pretty much hated the world. The guy would have probably stayed that way if not for the young man. That young man was so strong that he protected the guy and then, by some miracle, he fell in love with him. The cold, cruel guy couldn’t believe it, but it was true. It’ll probably take him a while to truly accept that he’s worthy of that love, but it will get easier every day when that young man continues to prove that his love is unconditional.”

I had no idea what to say. Did Cass really see me as all those things? Strong, protective, smart?

“So,” Cass continued. “That’s why I don’t put out on the first date or even the second. I’ve had a lot of time to think about things, and my sexual encounters don’t take up even an ounce of space in my brain. I think about things like body language, conversation, nervous habits, smiles, frowns, tears, secret dreams, sacrifices—I learned that those things are so much more powerful than sex and they stay with you long after the encounter ends. This guy I recently met, he called it making love. Not sex, not fucking—making love. That’s what it will be if and when we’re both ready. I already love him but all those things that are just as powerful… those are the things I want first. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic,” he finished on a long sigh as he dramatically put our joined hands over his heart and looked up as if he was gazing at the stars instead of a plain white ceiling.

“Weirdo,” I mocked with a light laugh. I still had my hand over his heart even though he’d released my fingers. I stared at the single place where Cass and I were physically connected. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest. It was proof that he was as scared as I was. “The guy… the one you used to know. He sounds pretty smart. I think you’re right, though. He’s changed a lot since you last saw him, but I think he’s trying to learn how to be who he once was and also accept all the good and bad things that exist in him now. Maybe someday he’ll feel like one man again.”

I lifted my eyes as I moved my hand so I could place it at the base of Cass’s neck and pull him forward. This time, I was the one doing the kissing. The soul-searching ones, the teasing ones, and all the other small but no less important ones in between. “When’s our first date, Cass?” I asked between kisses.

“Now,” he responded hungrily, but he didn’t attempt to take control of the kiss or go any further. “What do you want fordinner? I’ve got one can of chicken noodle and one can of minestrone. I might be able to scrounge up some candles?—”

“Not hungry,” I said as I deepened the kiss. Cass responded in equal measure. “Want to get to all the other stuff. That important stuff you learned how to do on your first date. That’s what I want. When does that start?”

“Right now, sweetheart,” Cass said after reluctantly ending our kiss. He took my hand in his and led me out of the bathroom, turning the lights off as we went. Once we reached the bedroom, he flicked on the lights and immediately dimmed them.

“This good?” he asked nervously as he led me to the edge of the bed.

I nodded. I didn’t hesitate in removing my shirt, then my jeans. Cass mirrored my moves. Despite his size and bulk, the man moved with such grace and fluidity that I got hung up on watching him step out of his jeans. Every muscle flexed beneath his skin as he moved. He was sporting a saliva-inducing erection beneath his snug briefs. I was in the same condition, but I didn’t care about my dick at the moment.

When Cass straightened, I tore my eyes from his groin and climbed into the bed. The sheets were cold but soft. The comforter seemed pretty new, but it already smelled like him.

“I just need to get a burner phone so you can tell your brother—” Cass began to say. He was in the process of turning away when I grabbed his wrist.

“I told Sully I wouldn’t be home tonight when I used the burner you gave me earlier. He knows I’m with you,” I said with a sheepish grin. “I didn’t tell him where we were or anything.”

Cass was already climbing into bed as I spoke, so I fell quiet. Nerves had me putting some distance between us.

“Probably best you enjoy my pretty face while I’ve still got it,” Cass said as he pulled the cover over both of us. “It’s going to be hamburger by the time your brother sees me.”

I chuckled and used my next words as an excuse to move closer to him. “I’ll protect you, my love,” I said with a smile, then added, “Sully’s just a big ole teddy bear.” Cass snorted in response and then he shifted closer until our bodies were touching. He didn’t make any kind of move to grab me. His body heat was calling out to me, so I took a risk and laid my head on his chest. Cass’s left arm immediately slipped under my body so he could hold on to my waist. His hold was snug, but he made no effort to put me in a different position.

He let me do that all on my own.

By the time I was done shimmying my body closer and closer to his, my upper body was draped over his chest. His skin was warm and soft but there was no denying the strength of each muscle. “Are you ticklish?” I asked without thought. “Sorry, that was stupid?—”

“I don’t know,” Cass responded without hesitation. “I don’t remember anyone ever tickling me before.”

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