Page 49 of Proof

“There’s coffee,” JJ remarked as he pointed in the direction of the coffee machine. I wanted to laugh at the irony since I’d said the same words to him less than twenty-four hours earlier.

“What time is it?” I asked carefully as I moved toward the coffee pot.

“Three o’clock in the afternoon.”

We’d only been asleep for a handful of hours? How was that possible after the events of the night before and, more importantly, what had taken place in the shower this morning?

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Fine,” JJ said simply. He didn’t seem angry or embarrassed. In fact, he acted like the events of this morning had already become a distant, if not completely forgotten memory.

It pissed me off even though I had no right to be. I should have been glad he was focused on the case files scattered all over the top of the table.

“How long have you been up?” I asked as I sat down in the chair across from JJ.

“A while,” was all he said. Now he sounded curt, even a little angry.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“Can’t really interrogate you if you’re not in the room, can I?” JJ responded snidely.

“Fine,” I said as I settled into the chair. The little spark of hope that maybe something meaningful had changed between us was snuffed out just like that.

Last nighthadn’thappened. He didn’t need to say it and he sure as hell didn’t want me to.

JJ lowered the file but only to turn the folder in on itself so a specific page was viewable.

“What happened to Officer Lewis?” JJ asked. He handed the report to me. “These are the witness statements taken the night I was shot. Most of them are just people who called 911 because they’d heard some noises. Not gunfire, just ‘noises,’” he continued. “Why isn’t Officer Lewis’s statement in here? He was the officer assigned to take the shift after mine. He’s a good cop, so he would have known what the popping sounds meant?—”

“He’s dead, JJ. He died the night you were shot. He was on his way to relieve you, but he never made it. His patrol car was hit by a dump truck at an intersection. It rammed his car into a telephone pole. They never found the driver of the truck.”

JJ began shaking his head. “No,” he said defiantly, then repeated, “No.”

I wasn’t sure if he was in denial because he’d been friends with the officer or if he was calling me a liar again without saying it directly to me.

He fell quiet for several long beats. I handed the file back to him.

“I didn’t know him that well but even if I can’t remember that night, I know myself. I was a good cop. I knew how to do my job. I never would have left my post until I was sure my relief had arrived,” JJ insisted.

He began ripping through the pages in front of him. “There’s no mention of him anywhere. Even if it was just an accident, there should still be some mention of that,” he added in frustration. “AndIsure as hell would have known what those popping sounds were. The other guy, the agent, he would have heard them too.”

JJ was in full cop mode as he put down the file and began rifling through the stack of other folders he’d piled up in front of him.

I hesitated to say anything. Sully had already come up with his own theory about JJ being shot first because he had been the gunman’s real target. As much as I wanted to push JJ in the right direction, I couldn’t give him theories. He needed to come up with those on his own or he’d probably think I’d falsified all the records or lied to him in some way. All I could offer were facts.

“Okay,” JJ muttered, more to himself than anything else. He grabbed another file and then looked at a notepad where he’d jotted down some notes. He looked between the notes and the file. “Let’s switch to something else,” he said. He looked up at me, his eyes burning with determination.

Just like when he’d been ordering me around that morning, his steely gaze turned me on. I’d never let a guy take control of me in bed. I couldn’t even remember if I’d ever fucked a guyina bed. Most of my hookups had taken place on whatever surfacewas available at the time. I’d never gone home with a guy, and they’d never been allowed into whatever personal space I’d had for myself at the time. I’d also never let a guy fuck me. I’d never even been interested in what it would feel like to have some guy’s dick in my ass.

Iwasinterested now.

I wondered if JJ had liked giving me orders. Had he been able to see the burn in my eyes as he’d told me what to do or maneuvered me into a certain position? I was good at masking my emotions; I’d had to be. You couldn’t be yourself and an Ashby at the same time. I’d learned that very quickly as a child. But with JJ, I’d automatically found it easier to talk to him, to tell him things I’d never told anyone else.

“Cass!” I heard JJ call.

I snapped out of the trance I’d been in. God, this man held so much power over me, yet he had no clue.

Because he didn’t remember.

---