Page 44 of Proof

Between Cass instinctively holding me all night and having disturbing dreams about me, the fog that had been mulling about inside my head had lifted.

It had changed something inside of me.

Although I’d ordered Cass around after waking him up, I’d been unsure of my plan. It wasn’t until we’d reached the top landing of the staircase that the strands of self-doubt had begun to wrap themselves throughout my brain.

I could have just as easily gotten Cass undressed and helped him into the shower, but I hadn’t been able to let go, especially once I’d had the proof I needed that he hadn’t wanted me to go anywhere.

After that, I hadn’t cared about the consequences of my actions. Everything was going to change anyway, so why not take this one moment for myself and pretend I could be everything Cass was looking for?

Once I’d given myself permission to not think and just feel, I’d tormented Cass in a way I never thought would have been possible. The larger, naturally dominant man had been fully under my control. He could have easily chosen not to be. If he’d taken me in his arms and kissed me, I would have happily relinquished all the power I’d seemed to have over him.

But hehadlet me have control.

It was an addictive thing, to have another person willingly give up their power because of nothing more than trust. To control their physical responses to an intimate touch here and a softly spoken promise there.

Watching Cass now as he stiffly climbed into the shower, I debated whether I was doing the right thing. The man hadalready given me so much of himself. Did I really want to take advantage of his vulnerability?

The look in Cass’s eyes when he turned around was answer enough. True, his lids were heavy, but the stark need in his gaze was impossible to miss. His dick was further proof of what he wanted. He hadn’t stepped into the spray of the water yet, so I could see the pre-cum leaking from the head of his dick and sliding down the shaft. The shaft he was slowly stroking.

Selfish asshole that I was, all I could think about was my lips opening to welcome that thick cock. I wanted to feel every throbbing vein that ran the length of it. I wanted to swallow it so far down my throat that I’d feel the wiry hair at his groin against my nose. I’d feel his balls slapping against my skin as he fucked my face. I’d drink down every drop of his release and I’d keep my eyes locked with his the whole time.

My self-doubt chose that exact moment to once again strike.

Why would Cass want me? Sure, he might have been physically attracted to me at one point, but then he’d found me in a trash-filled alley, on my hands and knees, waiting to get fucked from each end by two men whose names I hadn’t known or even cared about. I really was the cock slut that most of the men at the club had always called me. I didn’t know how to kiss, but I was a pro when it came to deepthroating whatever dick was pushed past my lips.

Why would Cass want someone like that? He could do better. Hedeservedbetter.

“Turn around,” I said softly. Tears stung the backs of my eyes when Cass didn’t hesitate to do as I said. With the constant voice in my head reminding me what the limits of this encounter needed to be, I stepped into the shower and put my hands above Cass’s hips so I could urge him to stand beneath the spray of the hot water.

It was a tight fit when I moved behind him so I could massage his shoulders and neck. Keeping my dick from rubbing against Cass’s ass was next to impossible, but every time I wanted to push my hard flesh forward to increase the contact, I reminded myself of who I really was.

Cass let out a soft groan as I continued to massage him. I spotted a small bottle of shower gel along with a similarly sized bottle of shampoo on the edge of the tub.

The size of the bottles made my stomach drop out as I realized they didn’t need to be any larger because Cass didn’t plan on us being at the cabin for very long.

I forced myself to grab the shower gel and put a generous amount in my hands. Washing Cass’s body was heaven and hell. I smoothed out his muscles as much as I could but when my hands reached his backside, I faltered. It was only when Cass gently pressed his forehead against the side of the shower that I knew I had to keep going. What I was doing made him feel good.

That was enough of a reason to continue even if I was also taking pleasure in the act myself.

I’d never actually topped another guy because my body had always craved the idea of being filled and I’d never really questioned it. Now, though, as I massaged the tight globes of Cass’s ass, new desires were making it harder and harder to remember why I needed to keep my hands moving.

“JJ,” Cass said softly… hungrily. He let out a thick moan and repeated my name, though he didn’t turn around. I didn’t need to look down to know that my cock was dripping pre-cum which the water was washing away as quickly as it leaked out of me.

“Am I hurting you?” I automatically asked.

Cass nodded, but before I could even give in to the distress of knowing I was causing him pain, he pressed back against my hand.

Or fingers, rather.

In my haze of lust, I hadn’t even realized that my hands had gone from massaging his ass to having several fingers of one hand sliding along his crease.

“Fuck,” I said as a wave of need washed over me.

What the hell was I doing? The man needed me to take care of him like he’d taken care of me. If he’d only stop making those sounds as he put more pressure on my hand. Logic was nowhere in sight, so I let two of my fingers slip into his crack. I slowly slid them up and down but never let them linger on Cass’s asshole.

“JJ, please,” Cass said after a throaty moan. I was momentarily jolted from reality because it felt like I’d heard those same words spill from his lips but spoken in a different way.

The two words in my head had been spoken in desperation, but not the kind that came from the need for sexual relief.

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