Page 97 of Love Harder

It became clear early on that The Unicorn was a protector. For someone who wasn’t accustomed to such treatment from their partner, my pride initially pushed him away. I didn’t need a man to protect me. I had done just fine protecting myself all these years. Heartache had taught me this.

So when he wanted to shield me from harm, I refused.

I could look after myself.

The Unicorn didn’t push. Maybe one day I’ll need protecting.

If I do, I know who will always be two steps behind me to catch me if I fall.

We fell into a routine quickly. It was innate.

We just fit.

Like when I cuddled him from behind and knew every curve to his muscled chest. His arms would hold me tight.Or the way he would order me to bend over so he could slap my ass. Or often, catch me unawares and slap it when I walked past.

The way he would always find my hand, regardless of the circumstances.

Or the way he would glance at me and I could read him with a single look.

He was becoming my everything, and I was powerless to stop it.

Sex between us had always been intense, but as time grew, so did feelings, and that’s when the best sex is had.

I would wake to him kissing my neck from behind and whispering what he wanted me to do as he worked his hand down the front of my sleep shorts. Or slapping my behind.

With just a touch, he would get me so turned on.But this was a new level of desire.

Sex with the right person can be phenomenal. But sex with the person you love…god damn. You don’t stand a chance, and that’s when I realized that I was in love with The Unicorn.

I still hadn’t told him my feelings. I mean, when is the right time to drop such a life-changing event such as this?

There never really is a “right time.”

So I didn’t force it. I just let it be because I have learned that love should never be forced.

And when you know, you just know.

And I knew when he ordered me to take my favorite seat (on his face) or when we had the type of sex I like (choking, spitting, biting, and obliterating every single inch of me) and he asked if what he was doing was okay, that my heart belonged to the man who changed me in so many ways.

But I don’t want you to think it was just the sex that allowed me to reach this epiphany.

It was the way he kissed my forehead or shoulder in the morning when we first woke. Or the way, without fail, he called me baby. The way he held my hand when we crossed the road. Or picked me up and hugged me tight when we hadn’t seen one another for a couple of days. The way he would call me amazing before kissing my cheek or the way he spoke to his friends and family about me when I wasn’t there. It would always come back to me, and that’s so important—what someone says about you when you’re not there and what The Unicorn said was filled with nothing but love and admiration.

It was all the small things that equated to this huge picture of I was so fucking screwed.

The dreaded ex was sadly a third wheel at times. The more airtime he gave her, the more it reminded me not to bring up mine because no one likes hearing about their current squeeze’s ex. It forever played in the back of my mind that them rekindling was always in the cards.

She was the mother of his children. She would share a bond I never could.

I accepted this for what it was and just needed to trust him.

Trust…there’s that word again.

For someone who didn’t trust her own shadow, I was coming leaps and bounds.

But it was tough at times, especially when he spoke about her in great detail about something she had done. Unlike my ex, theywere still in touch, and when she found out via a mutual friend that he was seeing someone, she had asked so many questions.

I didn’t like it.

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