Page 68 of Love Harder

I expected Brooklyn would stay.

So did Frankie.

As did my friends back home.

So when he called and said he wasn’t staying, I felt like I had missed the memo.

When I asked why, he said his back hurt because of the bed, and I could understand why. But when he added that he needed to mow his lawn, I thought that was a euphemism for something other than cutting his grass.

But I felt rather stupid when I realized this wasn’t an analogy for him being married or that I wasn’t lost in translation.

It was my last night, and he wasn’t going to spend it with me.

Frankie was just as confused as I was. She had seen us together. She said if he didn’t stay the nights prior, then okay, but to decide not to stay on my last night was fucking pathetic. Another reason I love her; she tells it as it is.

I couldn’t agree more.

Brooklyn, always the conundrum, said he’d come over after work because he still wanted to see me, regardless of him not staying.

He came over, and again, that weirdness between us lingered.

I didn’t know why it was there. I didn’t understand it. We got along so well on the phone, but in person, we were strangers.

We spent a few hours together.

I realized sex wasn’t a motivator for Brooklyn, and it wasn’t for me either.

He spoke about work and didn’t really ask anything about the rest of my trip. It was then I remembered what Psychic had said.

“They suck all they can from you before there’s nothing left but a husk of who you once were.”

I realized that the conversations we had were very one-sided. When I spoke up or didn’t agree with something, we didn’t get along as well as I thought we did.

How did I miss this?

And when he said he needed to go home and cut his grass, I realized that I was actually okay with him not staying.

I walked him to the door, and he kissed me goodbye and said he would take me to the airport tomorrow.

I waved goodbye…and that was the last time I ever saw him.

Frankie listened to me ramble on about him and agreed his excuse was pathetic. I felt it was pointless him taking me to the airport. He should be here, and he wasn’t.

I was sticking to my guns of not allowing another man to walk all over me.

He texted me an hour later, apologizing for not staying. This showed me that he was aware of his choices. I was honest and said I was disappointed he didn’t stay.

Silence…

I didn’t receive a reply until later in the morning I was leaving.

He said it should have counted for something that he came over after work.

I told him that it did, but I wasn’t coming back for a very long time. Yes, I came to see Frankie too, but he was a big reason I flew here.

We exchanged messages back and forth. Neither of us backed down. He said he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings and that he had a lot going on. He then said something that kicked me in the guts.

You were fun to hang out with, but it sucks you don’t live here.

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