Page 65 of Love Harder

My head screamed at me to listen to my gut, but my heart only wished to remember all the beautiful things we shared.

Yes, he was gorgeous, but I learned that looks are the most minuscule part of liking someone. Looks faded, but the connection didn’t, and I wasn’t feeling it.

I scolded myself for being so negative. I always try to be positive and see the best in every circumstance.

I could see he was nervous. The silence was also noticeable by him.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked, which caught me off guard.

“Of course I’m not.”

He was becoming frustrated with something not going his way, and his anxiety kicked in.

I sat by him and gave him a hug.

Hardly how I envisioned our first meeting going, but throughout my life, I have come to learn not to expect anything as this stops one from being disappointed. A bleak way to view things and people, but it’s a realistic slap to stop me from getting my heart broken—again.

We went into the bedroom and decided to watch some TV.

This is always an awkward moment for me, and it seemed like it was for Brooklyn too because we lay as far away from one another as possible. I was so far on the edge, I may as well have been back in Australia.

But as the sun surrendered to the moon, Brooklyn moved closer and closer.

I liked the way he smelled. A mixture of bubble gum and something else I couldn’t quite distinguish. His natural scent, perhaps.

When he grabbed me by the waist and dragged me toward him, I finally felt it.

That something, something. But it was diluted. I ignored it when I shouldn’t have.

He kissed me; soft at first.

But I didn’t travel halfway across the world for soft.

So I did what I said I would; I pulled his hair and kissed him hard.

And then it was game on.

We made out for a very long time, familiarizing ourselves with the other.

This is one of my favorite moments with the guy I like.

It’s new and exciting, and the promise of this turning into something more fills my heart with faith.

Things got hot and heavy, and my body liked everything Brooklyn had to give. The passion was there, but was it like with Switzerland or Dimples?

No.

It definitely didn’t hold a candle to Ghost.

But I took that as a good thing because where had those relationships left me?

Crying for weeks, that’s where.

We didn’t have sex because Brooklyn didn’t bring any condoms. I liked that he hadn’t assumed. Or that he hadn’t had them on hand. We were on the same page when it came to safe sex.

He also realized he left his boots and medication at home.

He asked if it was okay if he didn’t stay over as originally planned.

---