Page 50 of Love Harder

Everything was so much more intense this time.

Something incredible and unexplained is shared between two people who connect in such a way. This is part of the reason I gave him so many chances. To share this connection with someone is rare for me. So when I do, I’m all in.

He touched me with tenderness and hunger.

He spoke dirty words, which only amplified our passion.

He always seemed so much older than his years. His experience in and out of the bedroom cemented this.

The craving didn’t dissipate. It just continued to grow with each kiss, each touch. And I knew he felt it too.

Which is why I didn’t understand why it took him so long to see me.

The sex was something else. He set the bar high, and that’s not because he was an unbelievable lover. No, it’s because he let me in.

He stopped with what he thought I wanted to hear and just was himself, someone I liked a lot. We spoke for hours and hours. Being with him felt natural, just how it did with the other boys I let in.

He promised he would see me before I left to go overseas.

He texted me when he got home. It was all very reminiscent of Ghost. But I chose to believe he was different.

He messaged the next day.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was good. The connection was still there.

But then, day by day, I felt him pull back. I don’t know how I knew; I just felt he was taking one step, then two, away.

I said I felt as though things have changed since the night we saw one another.

He asked why I thought that as he thought it was really good.

Okay, so maybe I was reading into things. I told him he was less vocal and that we’ve not made any plans to see one another again.

This is a trigger of mine, I know. This is on me. But he knew I wasn’t interested in being pen pals.

I’m not trying to be less vocal at all. It can be very hard to see one another sometimes! ?

And this was the beginning of the end…

As the day I was leaving approached, I asked if I would see him before I left.

Hey, I have work in the morning and a super full on weekend ?

I didn’t hear from him all weekend. He texted me the morning I left.

Hey, so sorry been a crazy weekend. When are you leaving? Is it today? x I hope you have the best flight and trip.

I flew overseas and got to work, keeping busy. Dimples kept in touch from time to time, but he was still distant. The shift was present. The tables were turned this time. I was the one away, but my feelings for him hadn’t changed.

However, I was getting more than annoyed. So I asked why he was being so distant.

He said he’s no good on his phone. He sent me love on socials. He was watching. But he was retreating. He was leaving me in slow motion. He told me he was flying back out for work and thatseeing one another would be difficult because he has so much travel.

My heart sank.

How could I have wastedmonthson another guy?

Again…

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