Page 48 of Love Harder

Two hours later:

I haven’t slept I FEEL like a train wreck atm fuck me. I’ll probably be late tonight. I hope that’s okay.

Late is fine, but I kinda knew this would happen. I don’t want you doing something you don’t wanna do because you’d be here if you wanted to be. What am I supposed to say? You tell me ’cause this is your call.

No I’m just really hungover trust me. I want it so bad. Trying to give myself enough rest xx

An hour later…

Can we do tomorrow night? I should have known I’d be too hungover today. I can come after work??

I had run out of words because I was humoring us both at this stage.

Okay x

Thank you. Please don’t get confused. I fucking want to come. I should have known I was going to have a big night.

Honestly, I am very confused with what exactly you want from me. I can do about 8?

That will be fine. I’ll come late tomorrow. I don’t want to confuse you. I genuinely thought I’d be alright but feel like death and I want to make sure I am not half dead when I see you.

Did I believe him?

Yes.

Was I stupid for doing so?

Yes and no.

The reason is because when I say something, I stick to my word. My error here is trusting someone to do the same thing.

Sparkles and Mötley were as much involved in this situationship as I was. When I relayed the latest Dimples drama, they often referred to my situationship as “we.”

“Weneed to remember he does this when away for work.”

“When he does this,weneed to say something.”

They were a part of this as much as me because I needed them to validate that I wasn’t reading into things. Or that I wasn’t crazy. That he was genuine and not a lying asshole who was taking me for a ride.

Mötley once again said he fooled us all.

I felt a little better after that.

Without my friends, I hate to think where I would be because Dimples really emotionally and mentally screwed me. The reason being, I thought he was the real deal.

He put so much effort into “us.”

What I’ve shared is merely a fraction of what he sent me on a daily basis. He promised so many times that he was mine. But he never was.

Cut to Monday, make that day ten billion and one.

My phone rung an hour before he was meant to arrive. He started the call with, “Promise me you won’t get mad.”

Goes without saying, I got mad.

He called knowing this would end in a fight and that’s why I had respect for him for doing that. He could had texted. He could have ghosted. But the moment he called, he listened to everything I had to say and begged I forgive him.

At the time, I thought that showed he cared. But now, I just think Dimples just lived in Dimples’s world and on Dimples’s time.

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