Page 45 of Love Harder

But I waited…and waited…and nothing.

He was down for the weekend, and before I knew it, he was flying back out.

I was confused. Had I dreamed up the entire affair? I mean, he was home and didn’t even message that he was back.

We all know what this is. But for those viewers at home, let me spell it out for you.

RED FLAG…

He was waving that motherfucker early, but here we are…

When I asked why he didn’t let me know he was back, this was his reply:

Hey baby xx Sorry, been so much going on with house and stuff. I can maybe see you before I go to the airport.

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

This was the time I should have hit the road and thanked him for the memories. But he fed me such believable bullshit, I went against everything I stood for and stayed.

I wrote back.

If you’re not interested, please just tell me.

No, I am!!! I have been working for so long, and I’ve been really busy with this weekend with stuff back home. I just haven’t found the time yet (insert sad face)

He sent a voice message when I went quiet, apologizing if I got the wrong idea. He wanted to see me and he definitely would when he got back.

I gave Dimples so many outs, but he never took them.

He stayed away for many more weeks, and our “situationship” continued. But I noticed he was beginning to retreat.

Perhaps we should leave it here?

I feel so bad. I never thought I’d be gone so long. We don’t have to leave it there ?

It’s alittle hard to keep the momentum going when I don’t know when you’re coming back. Or if you don’t talk anymore. This is why I keep asking where your head’s at because I don’t know what’s going on

I feel so bad now ? it’s been so crazy, I swear. Babe I’m still here, I just have so much going on with work and I’m exhausted mentally. Nothing has changed at all. I will try better to communicate more. That’s my fault. I dream about seeing you again. And it will happen again. I miss you so much x I think I will be back end of the week but when I land I will come see you for a bit. How does that sound? And we can catch up and talk.

These are examples of our text message ping-pong while he was away.

When he would withdraw, I would ask what’s wrong and he would come back with such heartfelt messages. Surely he was legit. No one puts that much effort into someone if they weren’t serious, right?

I like to believe at the time he meant every single word.

From talking to friends who have experienced the same thing, we all agree that yes, boys do mean and believe the things they say at the time. But it’s their actions afterward that matter.

Things were back to being good. It was a common theme for Dimples and me.

We were good for a week or so, then there was radio silence and I questioned every single thing.

Another common occurrence was Dimples coming home for the weekend without telling me.

This happened four or five times. I honestly lost count.

Yet I stayed.

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