Page 34 of Love Harder

I understood, but again, it felt as though I had dedicated my time to someone who put me second best. I asked if there was a way he could make it work.

He said no and that I had this.

He was short on the phone, something he never was.

My stomach dropped when he hung up, wishing me the best.

I don’t know what just happened, but I didn’t like it.

I couldn’t help but feel this response was because of the letter.

How could I be so wrong time and time again?

I didn’t understand why my track record with men was so bad. But I honestly thought Switzerland was different. However, he knew how important this was to me, yet here I was, questioning what the fuck I was doing for the past few months.

But a minute later, my phone rang.

It was Switzerland.

And when I answered, he proved to me what I always knew to be true—he was the real deal.

“I can do it later. Come over now, and we can chill until the shoot.”

That was Switzerland’s favorite word—chill.

And that’s what he always was. He was calm and always greeted me with a smile on that goddamn beautiful face.

And that was the case when I arrived at his house, and he greeted me at the door, just how he always did with a big smile on that face, which I was going to miss so very much.

We hugged big, and I thanked him for doing this for me. I knew he was strapped for time, but he sacrificed his plans for me.

It meant a lot.

The shoot wasn’t for a few hours, so we “chilled.”

I wanted to address the letter face to face, and he said something that resonated profoundly.

“I’m sorry I can’t be your Prince Charming.”

I don’t know why, but those words still make me sad. They remind me of what we could have had.

I said he was a good man.

He said I was a good woman.

There was never a lack of affection between us. There was always just the fact that he was going.

We spent hours in his room, just how we always did

Talking.

He offered me his hand, always in constant touch.

The night was warm, and we lay on his bed together. It was something I will always remember because it’s in the simplicity that I find so much.

When the time to shoot came, I looked at my boy and was so thankful for him. He was so damn hot, and when we were told to pose, he grabbed me how he always did and took charge.

The chemistry can’t be faked. That’s evident in every single shot. That’s the reason I wanted to shoot with him. I knew this would be conveyed. So every expression, every placement of our hands, every goddamn look, it’s who we are.

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