Page 30 of Love Harder

Okay, now we were just engaging in small talk. Yet I couldn’t stop.

“There are so many you can buy,” I said, rolling my eyes playfully.

He simply smiled.

Our banter had never left.

Neither had our feelings, apparently.

But where did that leave me?

Confused, that’s what.

I pulled my hand away because I could feel that gravitational pull threatening to drag me under once more. And I couldn’t do that.

Zuko asked once more about the cover, and it was apparent that Ghost was mulling over the possibility of doing it. The thought of being pressed up against my ex in intimate poses was a little too much. But I wondered if perhaps we did this, would something change?

But what was there to change?

Ghost had made his choice, and he didn’t choose me.

I needed to accept that.

Yes, it was a fucking slap to the face, but I came here for answers, and I got them.

Ghost was still fixed on his insecurities as to why he was in two minds about the shoot, but I set him clear as I stood, hinting our time was over.

“Let’s be honest. No one will be looking at you. It’s all about me,” I said, tongue in cheek.

Those eyes smoldered as he didn’t make it a secret that he still wanted me as much as I did him. “Ain’t that the truth.”

I needed to leave, like now.

We walked toward the exit, and everything came crashing down. This was the last time I would see Ghost as I had a feeling he wouldn’t do the shoot. And when your gut talks to you, listen to it.

I committed this moment to memory because I would never have another like it ever again.

I remember his smell; he always smelled so good.

I remember how nervous and sad he appeared to say goodbye.

And I remember me letting him go.

I softly bumped my shoulder into his, as there was no way I was hugging him farewell. But he turned around and met me head-on. I couldn’t push past him, as he was standing in my way.

The last alpha move he was to make.

We simply stared at one another, and I suppose it’s because we both knew this was goodbye.

I wish this was a moment in the movies where the MCs realize love prevails all, and they live happily ever after. But this was real life. It was my life, and I knew I had to write the closing line to our turbulent love story.

He stepped forward and hugged me tight. “Take care.”

I was lost in his arms.

I was lost in who Ghost was.

I was lost to the man who made me feel something when I thought I was dead inside. And although our story didn’t end how I wanted, it ended.

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