Page 35 of Love Harder

It’s how we feel—and you can’t fake that.

I loved dozens of the images, but the one I chose means so much to me because it’s us. The look on his face reminds me of so much. There’s a reason to it, and that reason is written all over that beautiful face.

Being this way with someone is rare for me because I don’t usually connect this way.

Yes, Ghost affected me, but this was different. I wish I could explain how so, but being with Switzerland just felt natural.

He always seemed to know where to catch me so I wouldn’t fall, and I mean that in every sense there is.

He wasn’t overly affectionate, but he was in his own way.

The shoot captured some beautiful moments, ones which are forever encapsulated in time. And I wanted to share that with you.

An hour shoot ended up being almost twelve hours. That’s how long we spent together. Switzerland was so strapped for time, but he put aside time for me because that’s who he was.

He never asked for anything in return.

Never.

It was quite late after the shoot. I hadn’t even driven for two minutes before he told me to pull over and he would drive home. Always the one in control. But I liked it. He always made me feel safe.

I snapped a photo of us—his hand on my thigh.

Again, it’s the simplicity that I appreciate, and I will always remember the feel of his hand on my skin.

Just as I’ll always remember his lips pressed to the back of my shoulder as he kissed me, holding me tight.

Being with him was effortless.

The night came to a close with a kiss goodbye.

Only six more to go…

The days leading up to Switzerland leaving were like any days before it.

I knew he was going, but I guess nothing really changed between us, so perhaps ignorance is bliss. He messaged and called me as usual, explaining his day, just as he always did.

Even though each moment was slowly ticking down to the inevitable, I didn’t dwell on it. I knew he was leaving. My head accepted it. My heart, however…

Switzerland was leaving on Thursday. It was now Tuesday.

He called me and told me to come see him after he finished seeing his brother and friends.

The day had arrived. Was I prepared?

Not at all.

The moment I pulled into his driveway, he opened the gate and greeted me as he always did.

With that big smile.

He gave me a kiss on the lips, just how he always did, and we walked inside.

His house was packed up with only a few things remaining.

I looked at the place where many memories were made and felt my heart sink. This was really happening, and I was not prepared.

We spoke for a while before we went into his room.

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