Page 68 of Kiss, Kill, Thrill Me, Daddy

He nods. “For Scotty and Brody. It’s cute, isn’t it?”

“It sounds like scrotum, but sure.” We’ve wasted too much time on useless banter this morning, and I’m not letting them derail the rehearsal of the first day of the rest of my life. Marching onward, I keep eye contact with Abi. When I make it to his side, he holds out a hand for me. I think part of me knows if I take it, I’ll never go, and it’s in this moment—when he’s staring at me like his future’s been laid out before him—I make my decision.

This.

This is what I want for the rest of my life. Carnage at the hands of our friends. Unending chaos. Abi Kincaid.

When our fingers lock, my heart flutters in my chest. When we first made it back to Texas, I couldn’t think of anything worse than walking down the aisle toward Abi. Now, standing here in front of our friends and family, nothing has ever felt so right. Tears prick my eyes, and while I should probably be embarrassed, I’m struck with an overwhelming sense of urgency. To give myself to him fully. To take him in return. I don’t think, just act, lunging forward and wrapping every limb around him. He laughs into my ear, his hand falling down my back until he’s cupping my ass.

Around us, people are talking, but I can’t pull my face from his neck long enough to pay attention to what’s being said. The longer it goes on, the more soothing his touch becomes. It tethers me, cementing me to him, making me wonder why I ever denied him in the first place. Abi Kincaid is the man I love, and tomorrow, I get to marry him. It’s a realization that leaves me dizzied and more than a little emotional.

Eventually, he taps my back, getting my attention. When I pull away, his eyes are locked on mine, raining out affection. “This is the part where you say, I do, little one.”

I stare dreamily at him, unable to do much else. “I do, Daddy.”

He smiles at me. My Goddess, he smiles at me.

“Everyone out,” Abi says, his voice commanding. “Leave now. We will meet you at home. I would like a moment with the little one.”

The preacher clears his throat, his voice hardly even a whisper when he says, “Please do not defile our church. The Lord will not be mocked.”

Abi stares at him, blinking slowly. “Where I choose to fuck the man I love is of no concern to you. Leave us before I force you to watch.”

The preacher’s eyes widen, and for a brief moment, they dart down to Abi’s crotch. He licks his lips before shaking himself from his haze. “I’m sorry, sir.” With that, he rushes from the church like it’s burning down around him.

Once the rest of the room clears, Abi carries me to one of the pews and takes a seat. I cling to him, refusing to let go. Neither of us speak for a while, we just rest here, chest to chest. Heart to heart.

“When this is all over,” I finally say. “What are we going to do about Fee?” The question isn’t so much a question as it is a plea for assurance. A way of saying words my mouth can’t get out.

“What do you mean?” The look in his eyes tells me he knows what I’m saying, but he’s too scared to hold out hope.

“I mean, we’re going to be married,” I say, nervously tugging at the tail of his shirt. “We’re going to be ships, remember? Tatabi. Is she going to stay with us or are we ...”

“Do you want her to stay with us?”

After everything that’s happened with the Bens—seeing their love reduced to a glorified cuckold situationship—I don’t want to take any risks. I trust Abi implicitly, just as I trust Fee. Neither of them would hurt me, so while IknowI have nothing to fear, the fear still lingers.

“Does it make me a bad person to say I want you all to myself?” I ask, unable to hold his gaze. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this vulnerable. I’ve encased my heart in concrete just to keep it safe, but it’s like that TJ Klune audiobook Fee insisted we listen to on the journey down here said: stone crumbles. Right now, it’s doing just that. The walls are falling down around me and all I can do is hold out hope Abi won’t make me feel terrible for the admission.

“If it does,” he finally admits, “I suppose I’m a bad person as well.” His finger touches my chin, and he tugs, lifting my face until we’re eye to eye. “I do not wish to share you with anyone. I do not wish to share a bed with anyone other than you.”

“Good,” I say. “That’s what I want, too.” We cuddle for a while, his hand rising and falling down my back as he tells me all the dreams he has for us. Places he wants us to visit. He mentions nudist resorts and clothing-optional beaches which makes my cock twitch beneath my jeans. He doesn’t mention children, which worries me. Not because I want children—because I’m pretty sure I don’t—but because I know if he has any dreams of raising a child that looks like him, it’s a dream he’s giving up for me.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You may ask me anything.”

“It’s probably not going to come out right, and I know I run the risk of sounding biphobic by asking, but?—”

He covers my mouth with his index finger, shushing me. “You do not need to preface your questions with a disclaimer. Ask whatever you would like to ask.”

“Okay,” I mumble against his finger, kissing the tip when I’m done. He lets his hand fall to my side, and he holds on to me, probably trying to reassure me. “I’m just worried that I won’t be enough for you. A woman can give you things I can’t.”

“Ah,” he says as if it’s the most normal question in the world. “I was wondering when you might broach the subject.” Leaning forward, he kisses me gently, his grip tightening around my hip. “Are you worried I will cheat on you?”

I roll my eyes, because that question is absolutely ridiculous. “Of course not. You’re a rational adult—you’re more than capable of remaining faithful. I’m talking about everything you get with women that you can’t get with me. Kids. Normalcy. You wouldn’t have to worry about bigots and homophobes. You could have a normal life.”

Again, he presses his finger against my lips. “There is nothing unnatural about what we have.”

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