Page 69 of Embers of Torment

"I'm giving him an update."

"Whoa…that's none of his freaking business. He doesn't deserve a scrap of information." I sat up, my irritation skyrocketing. I reached for Kendra's phone only to have her move it out of my grasp.

"Stop it. You detest Jace right now, and I don't blame you. And you want me to hate him, too, but I can't. I talked to him, Della. He was devastated, and I could hear the pain in his voice. People grow up and evolve, and I can't believe he's the same person he was as a boy. You should talk to him and let him explain."

"No freaking way. He isn't worthy of it or me. I can't forgive him for what he did, nor do I need you attempting to change my mind. I can make my own decisions and certainly don't need a babysitter. I'm going to my room to nap, so you have no reason to stay. You can tell Spencer I have the flu or something." Now angry, I grabbed my cell phone and stalked to my room. I flung myself face down onto my bed. I couldn't believe Kendra haddefended Jace and was trying to tell me what to do. She had no concept of what he put me through.

You can't bully someone like he did to me, then say you're sorry, and poof—it all goes away.

That wasn't how life worked.

It wasn't how I worked.

Hearing my apartment door close, I rolled onto my back. Then the tears flowed anew.

"Dammit." I crawled off my mattress and snagged a roll of paper towels from underneath my kitchen sink. Marching back to my bed, I ripped several sheets off the roll and tossed the rest on my nightstand. After dabbing my eyes and blowing my nose, I buried my face in my pillow, the fabric soon soaked.

Somewhere along the line, I had to have fallen asleep because I woke up to my cell phone ringing. I ignored it, and the person called again two more times. Minutes passed, and then my device dinged. Someone had sent me a text. I reluctantly checked the screen.

It was Jace. Angry, I opened the message.

Jace: Della. You must hate me, and I don't blame you. I would, too. There were motivating forces behind the cruelty I inflicted upon you when we were kids. I know that doesn't excuse my behavior, nor should it, but I'm hoping you'll give me a chance to explain. One of the reasons I moved back to Boston was to find the girl I had bullied as a child and beg for her forgiveness. Never did I imagine that girl was you. The man I became is far different than the boy I was. That boy disgusts me like I'm sure he sickens you. Please, let me prove that isn't who I am. And know that I am so profoundly sorry for what I did to you. I miss you.

"Holy crap! Just freaking shut up." I threw my phone on the bed and rolled over. At least Jace had some of what he said right. Yes, I hated him. And, yes, the boy he was disgusted me,although my feelings were more extreme than that. But I didn't care about his reasons or that he'd returned to make amends. Neither erased what he did.

Would I let him explain himself? Not anytime soon. Maybe never. My pain ran too deep.

I scooted to the edge of my bed to get up, only to have my phone ring again. Reaching behind me, I grabbed it, intending to turn it off. Then I saw the caller was Adam. Convinced he'd keep calling, I pushed the button and answered.

"Hello?" I put the call on speaker, hoping that whatever Adam had to say would be quick.

"Hey, Della. It's Adam."

"Yeah, I know. What's up?"

"I wanted to check on you. I've called a couple of times, but you didn't answer."

"Because I didn't want to talk to anybody."

"I uhh… I can understand that. I found out what happened at the soccer field. The incident with Jace and all."

"Uh-huh. Is that all you heard?" I had no idea why I asked that question. It was stupid seeing how Kendra had informed me Jace had confessed everything.

"Well, no. Jace explained the situation with you and him knowing each other when you were kids. He told me how he bullied you and how hateful and vile he was back then."

"So are you telling me that as close as you and him are, you knew nothing about his childhood or that he used to live in Boston?"

"I didn't. I swear. Jace never talked about his life before high school except in general terms. I always thought he was born in North Carolina." Adam got quiet, and the lack of conversation became increasingly uncomfortable. Then he made a sound like he was clearing his throat. "Della?"

"What?" I half yelled, losing my patience with him.

"I…uhh. I asked Jace why he never told me about his past. He said he detested the kid he'd been and the things he'd done back then. He said he was ashamed and couldn't bring himself to talk about it."

"That doesn't change what he did."

"No, it doesn't. But the Jace I befriended was a whole different person. It's like he did a complete turnaround, becoming a defender of those who couldn't protect themselves. The guy I know is respectful, kind, and considerate. He's changed, Della. And he's broken up pretty badly right now. I think you should give him a chance to explain."

"What the hell? You sound like Kendra. So I'm supposed to forgive all the shit Jace did to me? Ignore the way he caused me to withdraw from everyone and everything because he'd destroyed my enthusiasm for life and self-esteem, making me feel like I was unacceptable and worthless. Did he tell you I had to switch schools because the bullying had gotten that bad?"

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