Page 64 of Embers of Torment

"On a weekend?"

"Yeah. Della's dental hygienist takes Saturday appointments once a month. Della tries to book those days so she doesn't have to take time off work."

"That makes sense. Oh, I should introduce you. Sorry." Ree motioned toward the couple. "Jace, these are my neighbors, Millie and Jackson Hart. They live across the street from me, and their daughter Becca is on the team with Lily. This is my cousin, Jace. He recently moved back here from Colorado."

"Moved back? So you used to live in Boston?" Jackson asked.

"I did, but that was a long time ago. Which one of the players is your daughter?" I gazed across the field, doing my utmost to change the subject.

"Becca is the dark-haired one in braided pigtails. She's number ten," Jackson said, beaming with pride. "She and Lily played together last season." He put his hand on Millie's shoulder to get her attention since she'd turned away to say something to Ree. "Hey, honey. The girls are lining up to play. We must have won the coin toss because Willow's getting ready to kick the ball." Jackson spun around to me and Ree. "You'll have to excuse us. We're going to sit down. Jace, it was nice to meet you."

"Same here." I studied the couple as they walked several yards away to a pair of camping chairs. Sitting beside Ree, I scanned the field for Lily, locating her on the sideline with some of her teammates. I glanced back at Ree. "Your neighbors seem pleasant."

"Oh, they are. Millie and I hang out and gossip when we get the chance. They moved into the neighborhood about the same time as James and I." Ree stopped talking while we watched the kickoff and a subsequent scramble for the ball. Resuming, she asked, "Out of curiosity, why did you change the subject when I mentioned you moving back to Boston?"

"If I didn't, the conversation would likely have shifted to how long ago I lived here and a host of related questions. That isn't a period I'm proud of, and speaking about it makes me uncomfortable. You saw what I went through as a kid. Those aren't memories I want to share, and I've found it easier to bury them."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize the subject was difficult to bring up. We've had numerous conversations over the years."

"It's easier with you. We're family, and you were there. And you've never judged me. You're the only person I've ever felt at ease talking to about my childhood."

"I'm glad I was there when you needed me. But remember. I was also a kid back then and wasn't in your shoes. I didn't understand it all at the time and still don't on some issues, like your reluctance to discuss the subject. But I promise not to put you in that position again."

"Thanks. And I'm sorry if I sound overly sensitive and somewhat ridiculous, but those years were pretty painful."

"It's okay. You don't need to apologize." Ree watched the game for a minute, then glanced at me. "By the way, James isn't coming."

"Lily told me. So what happened?"

"His new girlfriend had other plans for him." Ree sounded frustrated as she spoke. Based on her scowl, she was also a bit peeved. "He stopped by my house this morning to inform me he couldn't make it to Lily's game. His girlfriend is hosting a birthday party and barbeque for one of her friends and needed James to help set up and do the grilling."

"James is missing the game after promising Lily he'd be here so he can play caterer? Damn, I assumed he had to work or something."

"That would be a more reasonable excuse. But, no, the asshole is skipping out on Lily for a pair of boobs."

I paused, mulling over James's commitment to his family over the years and thinking I shouldn't be making a snap judgment. "Maybe you should give James a break and keep in mind that he's always been a great father. His decision might be a momentary lapse in prioritizing what's important."

Ree scoffed and shook her head. "Hardly. He's been a wonderful dad most of the time, but not always. And a dedicated spouse, he is not. A year and a half ago, he made excuses like he is now for missing social gatherings and family outings. It turned out the reason for them was a cute nurse at the hospital, and that affair led to our divorce. He cheated on me the first time five years ago and swore it would never happen again. When it did, I told him I wouldn't put up with it, and our marriage was over. So, no, this isn't some fleeting moment of stupidity. It's an ingrained behavior."

"I'm sorry, Ree. I wasn't privy to all the details."

"Thanks, but there's no need for concern. Lily and I will get through it. Oh, and before I forget. James found my box of school memorabilia and dropped it off when he came by this morning. I haven't looked through it yet."

"Great. Now I can find out what that girl's name is and see if I can locate her. I believe she was in your fourth-grade class and part of your fifth."

"She was. She left Bertram Elementary partway through fifth grade." Ree peeked at me and shifted in her chair. "Are you sure you want to track down this girl? All those incidents happened years ago. It might be better to leave it alone. Keep it buried with the rest of the stuff from back then. After all, you did say it was easier and more comfortable that way."

"No. I need to find her. I can't forget the horrible things I did to her, and it's eaten at me for years. I saw what my stepsister went through when she got bullied. The psychological and emotional effects were devastating, especially the way she withdrew andtransformed into a shell of herself. It hit me afterward that I'd done the same thing to someone else, and it's been hard to live with. I came back to Boston for redemption. I have to tell this girl to her face that I'm sorry, even if she doesn't forgive me."

"I don't want to sound silly, but you didn't need my class picture to find out the girl's name. You could have asked one of your boyhood friends what it was and Googled her. Plus, moving here was somewhat dramatic. You could have stayed in Boulder and done it with a simple visit. Besides, what makes you even think she's still in the area? She could have moved away."

"She could, but I'm betting she's still here somewhere. And I'm not about to contact one of the kids from back then and open myself up by inquiring about that girl. None of them were a real friend. They hung around me for self-serving reasons. Maybe they felt protected or empowered to be buddies with the school bully. Who knows? And, yes, you're right. I could have performed an internet search from Boulder. But there's another reason I moved here aside from finding that girl and wanting to be near you."

"And what is that?"

I stared at the soccer field and swallowed to clear the sudden dryness in my throat. "To face the past. I've run from it, hid from it, and buried it. What I've never done is confront it. That's why I've never been able to come back here, and you've always had to come visit me."

"I wondered why you were always busy with one thing or another or had some oddball excuse for not visiting. None of it was true. You didn't want to come here."

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