Chapter 4

Auslin

The two flew in silence the short distance to the cave where they first stayed the night Auslin met Kitaro in the past. Kitsuki illuminated the space with his silver dragon fire, looking down at Auslin with an unreadable expression.

Auslin’s words spilled out of him in a rush. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking going through Fate’s Gate to help Roltan. I never wanted to leave you and?—”

Kitsuki cut him off with a gentle kiss, which was more reassuring than words. He embraced Auslin tightly with his one arm. “All that matters is you’re here with me now.”

Auslin’s heart ached for what his moment of stupidity had caused Kitsuki to suffer. “I never meant?—”

“Unbeknownst to us, it was the Day of Ascension,” Kitsuki interrupted Auslin to say. “I had ascended the rankings as Father’s heir. Fate pushed you through Fate’s Gate. It was not your fault.”

Tears welled up in Auslin’s eyes. “But you had to suffer for so many centuries because I did such a stupid thing. How can I ever make that up to you?”

It made Auslin’s heart stutter in his chest when Kitsuki lovingly caressed his cheek. “I once told you I would wait a thousand years if that was what it took for you to return to my side. That was not a lie,” Kitsuki said. “I would have waited an eternity for you to be mine once more.”

While it was sweet, it was also heartbreaking to hear. He threw his arms around Kitsuki, hiding his face against his chest. “I never wanted to spend a single moment of my life without you, let alone inflict six hundred years of you wondering why I disappeared.”

Kitsuki kissed Auslin’s temple as he hugged him back. “You have returned. That is all that matters to me now.”

“But Ileftyou,” Auslin insisted in an anguished tone.

“Yes, but you have returned to me,” Kitsuki countered. “You are mine once more. That is all I have ever asked of fate.”

“I’m never leaving your side ever again,” Auslin swore while hugging Kitsuki tighter.

Auslin didn’t know how long the two of them embraced in silence, but Kitsuki eventually gestured for them to sit on the enormous bed. Once they were comfortable, Auslin dared to ask the hard question. “What happened after I left?”

“I tried to follow you through Fate’s Gate, but it refused me, as Satsuma said it would,” Kitsuki told Auslin. “Kizoshi assured me that all was as it was supposed to be, but that was littleconsolation. Father also promised I would reunite with you someday in the future.”

“I’m so sorry,” Auslin apologized again, feeling like he could never say it enough. “I don’t know how you can ever forgive me for what I did to you.”

Kitsuki brushed Auslin’s hair from his eyes. “It was fate’s decision to push you back through the gate to your own time on that day. You bear no blame for what happened.”

Auslin didn’t understand how Kitsuki could be so forgiving for such a horrible thing. He hid his face against the shifter’s broad chest. “I’d feel a lot better if you were mad at me.”

The comment made the corner of Kitsuki’s mouth turn upward in a hint of a smile. “And what would that accomplish?”

“I deserve that and worse,” Auslin insisted as he looked up at Kitsuki in anguish. “What I did to you—that’s unforgivable. I can never apologize enough for what you’ve had to suffer through because of me and my stupidity.”

“There is no use in regrets at this point.”

“But because of me…”

“Because of you, what?” Kitsuki prompted.

Auslin didn’t know how to say it was his fault that his loving Kitaro had become the icy Kitsuki. He wanted nothing more than to undo what had been done. Auslin could only shake his head as he looked down at his hands in shame.

Although Auslin had not said his thoughts out loud, Kitsuki understood. “You are feeling guilty for my becoming the so-called Ice King.”

“I cost you so much,” Auslin whispered. He struggled with the enormity of what his split-second decision had caused. “You should hate me and never want to see me again for what I’ve put you through.”

“I have not waited for your arrival these past six hundred years to never see you again,” Kitsuki dryly pointed out to Auslin. “I do not hate you.”

“You should!”

Kitsuki’s gaze softened as he caressed Auslin’s cheek. “I could never hate you, Vanra. Not for this, not for anything. I am incapable of harboring that emotion toward you.”