Page 134 of Bound By Roses

Everyone except the ones I killed.

The dragons are close, so it won’t be long before we’ll find out just how bad our own forces suffered. Or their forces, I guess, since I was in league with Void. Two sides of myself war around each other, leaving me nothing but a tangled mess of guilt. I know why I did it, and it’s not a reason anyone is going to accept. Abby especially, though she already wants to kill me, so what’s the point?

I feel the thrumming of dragon blood somewhere to my left. It was never like this before. All of us have a sense of when another dragon is near, but this is something entirely different. And more than the six heartbeats I feel in addition to my own, I feel most of all the one that isn’t there and my heart breaks all over again.

I never wanted this. Never wanted Merrick to die. Never wanted to be Regent.

But IamRegent and with that comes power I don’t deserve.

My head snaps to the right as Rhett lands at the edge of camp with Quinn’s sister in his arms. Her face is unreadable, but I can smell the salt of tears on her.

Abby is on her feet and moving before I can stop her. Or rather, I don’t try to stop her. She’s not going to run. Not when all she wants to do is drive another knife into me. Blood still flows from the wound to my side. If it wasn’t for her penchant for stabbing, I would have left the blade in to keep the bleeding minimal. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option, so the fabric tied tightly around it will have to do for now.

“Tell me how to bring him back!” Abby shouts as she storms across the ridge to Kaylee. Even with the grass beneath her feet, the burns on them must be agonizing. I’d gotten to her as quickly as I could, but the scent of burning leather and charred flesh was already in the air by the time she was.

Kaylee’s face goes pale and her eyes redden. “I can’t see him.” Her voice is little more than a whisper, but it seems Merrick was holding out on us. Or maybe this is just how I am now that I’ve been Chosen. A shudder runs through me at the thought of Inferna and what I am to her.

“He’s not dead!” Abby’s voice is hoarse, but those three words ring through the night as clear as can be.

Ory and Wyatt land firmly behind me and I can feel the rage in the stares they lay upon me. Arabella isn’t with them, which is probably for the best. She’ll likely be headed straight to Marein once the other sirens meet up with them. I barely offer my kin a glance over my shoulder. “Do I have to order you not to kill me while my back is turned, or are we good?”

The both of them move away from me without a word. Message fucking received. They won’t kill me, but we areabsolutely not good. And why would we be? Merrick is dead, and it’s my fault.

Abby must think I’m distracted because she swipes the knife she’d been eyeing tucked away on Kaylee’s hip and sprints towards me. Rhett’s arms are around her before she even makes it three steps, and both Ory and Wyatt have stepped in front of me. They’d kill her if they had to. I’m Regent and until Merrick’s child is born and of age, I’m all they have.

Gods. I don’t want to endure another ten minutes of this shit, never mind ten years.

“Get your hands off me before I fucking kill you too!” Abby screams at Rhett, and I almost believe her threat. There’s not a doubt in my mind that she’d kill me, but Rhett? Even in her rage, I don’t think she has it in her.

“You know I can’t do that.” Rhett’s voice is pained, and I can’t blame him. Even he wants me dead.

“Let her go,” I say, and it’s the first real order I’ve given. The kind they can’t refuse unless they want their blood to turn on them. “And move aside,” I add for the others.

Abby lunges for me, and I catch her wrist in my hand as she aims the blade for my heart.

“If you want to kill me, do it after we talk.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” She spits each word as if it were a curse and then hits me with her left hand. It hurts more than it should, and it’s only when she pulls back that I see the bloodied point on the ring she wears.

“Then do it afterItalk.”

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. You ruined everything!”

“You think I don’t know that? I have half a mind to let you kill me.” But I can’t. Not until my heir is old enough. For the first time, I think I truly understand the weight Merrick carried and I would give anything to give it back.

Wyatt takes a step forward. “We can’t let you kill him. It’s a death sentence for our kind.” Abby curses under her breath and I know she’ll never forgive me. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. “I know he killed your mate, but—”

Abby twists abruptly, but my grip is tight enough that I know she can’t break free and drive the blade meant for me into him. “Quinn. Is. Alive.” She says the words as if they alone will be enough to bring him back.

“No one enters the veil and lives.”

I did, but no one says that. Because no one knows the truth of what happened on that beach. When I allowed myself to burst into flames in an attempt to spare Abby the same pain she’s feeling now.

Abby moves to hit me again, this time aiming her spiked ring for my throat. I catch her hand and alter her trajectory just enough so that the spike digs into my cheek instead. I barely feel the sharp sting as she tears through my flesh.

I could have avoided injury altogether, but I want to be marked. If I can’t let her kill me, then I want to be reminded of this moment every time I gaze upon my reflection.

“Let. Me. Go,” she seethes.

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