Page 107 of Bound By Roses

The aches that grow in my body are numbing to the mind, and once I hit my stride, all I can do is think about the path ahead. There’s a chill tonight that somehow seeps through my thick coat, but it’s not uncomfortable. This is just how I like it. I’m no stranger to running to clear my head, but this is the first time I’ve done so knowingly in this form.

And—as much as I detest the wolf—I don’t hate this.

A familiar scent hits my nose and my legs lock on their own. Skidding to a stop, I sniff at the air. I know this smell, but for some reason, my brain just can’t place it. Maybe it’s the blood I couldn’t wash off or the mingling scents of the forest, but there’s something both familiar and foreign about it.

I should keep going, but my curiosity gets the better of me. At a much more leisurely pace, I veer to the left in search of the source. It doesn’t take long to find it. Just ahead of me is a small patch of ash roses. Not a spiralling field of them like we’ve been seeing, but a quaint cluster that almost seems as if they were planted in this spot.

Suddenly, I no longer care and move to divert my course back to Marein, but I don’t get that far. On exactly the same spot as those roses, a rift appears and I find myself frozen in place.

Where there’s a rift, there’s wraiths, and I doubt Jade is going to swoop in at the right moment this time. I’m alone out here, and the Spider said the wraiths would get smarter. This form won’t hide me forever, and if that time has come, I may have to break my promise to Abby.

I shake the thought from my mind and take a step back. Of course I’m making it back to her. I always will.

I chance a glance at the rift and spot Evan already there. It took minutes for him to appear last time, so perhaps that means my time is almost up. If I’d been selfish, I could have led Ty out here and pushed him inside rather than send him to Lunae and what may very well be his death.

The only thing that stops me from launching back into a run is the realization that Evan has only seen me this way once before…and that was the day I killed him.

The last time he saw the wolf—the monster—it was tearing into him while he screamed. A wave of guilt crashes into me, followed closely by the nausea I’ve been trying to chase off. What I did to those bodies not two hours ago is exactly what had been done to him when he came to my room to check on me.

I open my mouth, but there are no words. Not in this body.

Evan doesn’t speak either. He merely watches me with the same sad eyes that have become all too familiar these last months. Is he mourning the life I stole from him? If he were alive, he’d be king now. Imelda may not have survived long enough to birth the child destined to thrust the world into darkness.

Evan should have lived. Not me.

He turns quickly as if he heard something. I can’t be certain, but for the briefest of moments, I think I see a person behind him. A woman with long, flowing hair that curtains her face.

I blink and the woman is gone, but my heart races all the same. There’s only one woman I would see inside the veil at Evan’s side.

Mom.

I open my mouth again to call out for her, to beg her to come back just so that I can see her again. Even for just a minute. I’m no stranger to loss, but Gods, I miss her the most. I miss her kindness and the light she brought into this world. I see bits of her in Marein, but it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same.

I take a step towards the rift, and Evan raises a hand, signalling for me to stop.

But I don’t want to stop. I want, noneed, to see her again.

If I shift, I can call out to her. I can’t hear them, but I’m pretty sure they can hear me.

But I can’t shift. Not here, and especially not at night. Not when I promised Abby that I would always make it home to her.

That small, momentary glimpse will have to be enough. It will have to last me until it’s my turn to pass through the veil—be it fifty years from now or five days from now.

Evan moves again, but this time he’s pointing. Pointing in the direction I’m supposed to be going.

I nod once and then throw myself into a sprint, all the while hoping that this is just another thing the crisp evening air will help me forget.

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

ABBY

It’s late when Quinn comes into view down the beach. He’s not running, but his pace picks up when he sees me. There’s an urgency to his step and when I reach for the bond, I feel the unease he isn’t trying to hide.

I wait until he sits in the sand beside me before I ask.‘Did something happen?’

He tells me of a rift, seeing his brother again, and a woman who could very well be his mother. I feel his story as much as I hear it as waves of anxiety and heartbreak roll off him in time, with the ocean lapping at the sand at our backs.

When he finishes, I press myself up against his soft fur.‘Do you really think it was her?’

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