Page 9 of Ash and Roses

The sting swells with another piercing jab to my heart, as if it’s balancing the weight of a thousand silver coins. I’ve never sensed hostility from him before, so why now? He’s no longer Marked. Could that have changed the unspoken bond between us so quickly?

He moves to turn from me, but I grab his arm without thinking. “Don’t walk away from me,” I hiss. “Don’t you want me?”

The blood drains from my face the instant the words leave my mouth. Those aren’t the words I’d meant to say. I’d wanted to ask if I meant so little to him, or if I’d been wrong about his feelings towards me and the bond we share. I don’t amend my phrasing, because this too is something I want to know.

I tighten my grip on his arm as if that could stop him from leaving me if he wanted to. He stands stone still, the hard green of his eyes liquifying.

I open my mouth to speak his name again and demand an answer, but there’s no time for that. In half a heartbeat, his lips are on mine and his tongue invades the small space of my mouth. The force of his onslaught sends me backwards until I feel myself press against the stone wall I’d scaled only minutes ago. The breath leaves my lungs and I feel as if they’ve given up the ability to take in air altogether—which is entirely fine by me. To breathe would mean his mouth would have to leave mine, and that is utterly unacceptable.

He pulls away from me all too soon, though his lips linger only just above mine. “I can’t want what’s already mine.”

Every inch of him presses up against every inch of me. A hand finds its way under the skirt of my dress and squeezes greedily at my backside. His teeth drag across the skin of my neck, sending a chill rippling through me. That must stir something in him too, because he groans softly in my ear.

“Then take me.” I can barely get the words out between small gasps, and it takes every bit of concentration I can muster to free him from his pants so that he doesn’t have to release me. He hesitates only a moment, his eyes asking silent questions I recognize all too well. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this, and it won’t be the last. Not now that Jade is here.

His tongue penetrates my mouth again the instant he penetrates me. I wrap my legs around him, giving myself over to it. With each demanding thrust, my insides turn to liquid warmth as one hunger replaces another. I can no longer feel the gnawing in my stomach, as one much lower takes precedent. I’ve wanted this man ever since I was old enough to know what wanting him meant, and now that I have him, I have no intention of letting go.

The heat within me grows white hot, and he has to press a hand to my mouth to stifle the sounds of my release. His follows only seconds later, his face pressing firmly into my breasts. We stay like that for a long moment, breathing heavily into each other, but all too soon he sets me back down on my feet. My chest heaves and my legs feel shaky with the aftershocks of pleasure still coursing through me. His eyes are hard on mine as he cleans himself up with a rag. He may not be on duty, but if another Guardian saw him in this state, there would be questions. Judging by his expression, that’s the last thing on his mind.

“Did we really just do that?” he asks, his voice low and even. The disbelief is understandable. A Marked and a princess together was an impossibility that not even the Gods should have been able to rectify. Either we’ve just done something terribly wrong or so wildly right.

“It was long overdue, I think.”

He nods, though it seems more than general agreement. His thoughts are elsewhere; likely on the past and all the small moments that brought us here. Me saving his life, him saving mine, and all the monthly Marchings in between. If anything was ever to be written in the stars, it was this. My heart has never beat for the men who came before him, and it will never beat for anyone who comes after.

Ifanyone comes after.

“I was worried you wouldn’t recognize me with a shirt on.”

That has me laughing vehemently enough that he has to press a soft finger over my lips in a reminder to be quiet. If anyone catches us…

His lips find mine again, far softer this time, though still full of a hunger I know only I can satisfy. I feel it too, and would gladly trade the next week of rations if it meant that I didn’t have to leave him now.

“You should get back,” he sighs before I can. His eyes move up the wall at my back as if searching for a way up.

I place a hand on his cheek to bring his attention back to me. “Not that way.” I clutch his hand in mine and lead him around the corner to one of the many Guardian posts that surround the palace. His grip tightens a fraction when he realizes where I’m leading him. “It’s alright. He’s a friend.”

“Lady Abby,” Porter greets me when I pop my head through the open space above the half doorway. His blue eyes sparkle in the soft moonlight as his bushy white moustache twitches upward in a hidden smile. Porter is always smiling, even if you can’t see it. “You’ve been back only a day and already you’re out on an evening stroll?”

“I had some business to attend to.” There’s no hiding the flush still on my cheeks, but Porter won’t judge me for it. He already knows of my occasional outings and what sometimes occurs during them. I tug gently at Jade’s arm until he joins me at the window.

“Ah, the Marked Guardian. I’ve heard all about you. How are you settling into your new life? It must be quite the change.”

Jade’s eyes flash to me before he answers the man. “I certainly can’t complain.”

Porter’s chuckle is boisterous and, as always, has a way of making me laugh with him. “You’re so much like your mother, Lady Abby. She was not made to be kept behind palace walls, either.”

Porter is the only Guardian who calls me Abby. I’d rather he left ‘Lady’ out of it, but it’s a fair compromise, nonetheless. He’s also the only Guardian—or person, for that matter—who still speaks of my mother. Even Father seems to have all but forgotten her now. It’s odd that I would be the one to cling to her memory when I myself have no memory of her.

“I wanted to ask you a favour,” I say after letting the thoughts of my mother drift off.

“Anything for you,” Porter promises before even hearing what I have to ask.

“I don’t trust the Commander not to… I mean…” I should have planned my request ahead of time so I wouldn’t be struggling for words now. I look to Jade for help, but he clearly has no idea where I’m going with this.

“You’re worried for him because Tobias is not one to let his prey get away.”

That’s it exactly. The Commander hates the fact that Marked are allowed to live at all, and now that Jade has been spared entirely? I’m expecting some manner of retaliation. “Will you watch out for him when I can’t?”

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