Page 56 of Ash and Roses

“So… You need a thousand candles to keep us warm?” I’m sure that number is way off, but I’ve never seen so many candles placed around one room. Long tables are speckled in them, just as great candelabras line the stretch of open space in the very center of the room.

Her laugh is musical. “Oh, you’re a funny one, aren’t you? No, this is for First Frost.” She must see the confusion on my face, because she expands on her answer without prompting. “Quinn’s mother loved snow. In honour of that, she insisted we hold a celebration on the night of the first snowfall. It’s a night of food, music, dancing. You’ll love it.”

“It sounds incredible. You do this every year?” I can’t remember the last time we had anything resembling a ball in Lunae. I was far too young to attend it, though I have the faintest fog of a memory of me with my ear pressed against the door of my chambers, desperate to hear the music wafting through the palace like ghosts. I’d taken dancing lessons, of course, but never had the chance to put those lessons to the test. I doubt it would matter, anyway. Rosewood probably has their own set of unique dances.

Tess’ face falls only a fraction. “Well, no. We actually haven’t done this since she died. Quinn’s father was distraught at the loss of his wife. He banned any reminders of her, so it’s been…” she pauses to think and counts on her fingers. “Oh, about fifteen years now.”

Fifteen years? “So then, why do it now?”

“Because I think we finally have something to celebrate.”

Ruben walks by with another armful of chairs, once again putting everyone else with a single chair in their arms to shame.

“Quinn is still in the forest. I’m not sure he’ll be much in the mood for a celebration.” I’m not trying to bring her mood down, but I can’t see how she could think this year would suddenly be any different. If it was just about the late king, music and dancing would have returned after his death. Quinn chose to keep these events from happening, and I don’t blame him for that in the slightest. What is there to celebrate when your family is dead and your kingdom is cursed?

Her soft smile is unexpected. “You’re going out there to talk with him, aren’t you?”

“Is it that obvious?”

She takes my hand in hers, and the warmth of her touch fills me with a resolve I didn’t know I needed. “I have every confidence that if anyone can bring him back to us, it’s you.”

I think her confidence is misplaced, but I don’t bother saying it. “And if he won’t talk to me? Or if he refuses to leave the forest?”

Tess shrugs and returns to surveying her helpers. “Then we’ll have a party without him.”

I move for the massive doors that lead out of the castle, still laughing to myself. The laughter only dies when my eyes fall upon the forest that seems so much more ominous under the grey sky above. Just within those trees, mymatewaits.

* * *

Come on, Abby. You’re braver than this.I don’t know how long I’ve been standing at the edge of the woods, but it’s long enough to be shameful. Quinn could be anywhere, and there’s no guarantee that he’ll hear me if I call for him, but what does it say about me if I don’t try?

“Quinn?” I say, more to myself given how quiet the word was. The silence that answers is almost offensive, though it shouldn’t be. I can’t expect him to hear me when I barely speak his name, but the fact that I have to be out here doing this at all is infuriating.

“Quinn!” His name stretches much farther that time, but again there’s no answer.

He’s hiding out there—quite possibly human—because he can’t bear to face me. Why else wouldn’t he have come back with us yesterday? If he wants me to hate him, he’s off to a great start.

“You fucking coward!” I scream as loud as I can, not worrying about all the other people who might hear me. I can just see Tess shaking her head right now as she directs Ruben with another bunch of chairs. “Don’t make me come in there after you! I know you can hear me!”

Soft chuckles sound behind me, and I glance over my shoulder to find a crowd gathering. Much to my surprise, Ruben is among them. I guess they heard me inside the castle after all. He moves to my side, arms crossed but relaxed, lips curved as if he’s fighting the urge to laugh too. “It’s really none of my business and if you want to keep shouting at the trees, I won’t stop you, but that’s probably not the best way to reach him.”

“I can scream louder,” I grumble, though I really doubt I can.

He laughs this time, but forces the seriousness to return to his face and his voice. “I’m sure the entire forest can hear you as it is.”

“Then where is he?”

Ruben’s smile fades, the last traces of humour gone now. “If you were in his position and he was the one out here calling you a ‘fucking coward’ loud enough for your entire kingdom to hear, would you come running?”

Shame washes over me at the thought. “Probably not.”

“If you want to talk to him, just ask. He may not come, but it’s his choice. If you mean to scream at him, you may as well do it right here and now. There’s no such thing as privacy when everyone around you has the hearing of a wolf.”

He leaves me, whistling to himself as he goes, before saying to the crowd of onlookers, “Let’s get back to work before Tess has our heads.”

“Fuck,” I say under my breath, fully aware that some of them probably heard that too. I didn’t consider that their wolf senses might be carried over to their human forms, and will have to remember to ask someone just how good it is. Tess, probably, unless Quinn ever mans up.

I groan because this is as much my fault as it is his. Ruben was right, so I breathe through the remainder of my frustration and begin anew. “Quinn?” I say his name as softly as I can, given the circumstances in the hopes that it conveys no ill will. “I just want to talk.”

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