Page 53 of Ash and Roses

I slide my eyes up to him and find he’s still watching me. This man I’ve gotten to know is the very monster that murdered Teagan and Jade. I should have known. How many times had he told me that his curse was different? And yet I refused to see it, refused to read between the lines. He disappears for weeks at a time with nowhere to go. His people turn into wolves under the light of the first full moon and remain that way until it wanes. The royal family was massacred, leaving only Quinn alive.

Where does the monster end and the man begin?

“Over there!” The shout comes from behind me, but my gaze doesn’t leave Quinn. He hasn’t moved and the rage that had been so clear in him just minutes before has dissipated entirely, leaving only some mixture of shame and resolve.

Footsteps are close behind me, but they come to a sudden stop when the people take in the scene before them. Three dead men, a naked Quinn, and me—bloodied knife tight in hand.

“Abby?” It’s Ruben’s voice I hear when someone takes a step closer. “Give me the knife.”

“Don’t touch her!” Quinn snaps, and Ruben stops just steps behind me. “I don’t think she’s finished.” I know he’s not talking about Morgan.

“Quinn—” Ruben tries to reason, but Quinn’s not having it.

“No one stops her. Is that understood?”

I take their silence as confirmation. There’s not a sound from the people gathered behind me or even the forest itself. It’s like the world has gone quiet and is waiting on bated breath for me to choose a path. Morgan was a monster, but Quinn? He’s killed innocent people. People I loved. He stole a future from me that could have been great. A life with a good man and my closest friend by my side.

‘Do it.’His voice in my mind nearly makes me jump.‘No one will intervene and you will not be punished.’

I blow out a breath and turn away from him. “Take me back to Rosewood,” I say to Ruben.

The relief on his face is glaring. He makes no move to take the weapon from me, but the hand he rests on the space between my shoulders is warm and beyond comforting. I let him lead me away from Quinn, not bothering to look back to see if he follows.

CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE

QUINN

Iwatch her go, never once looking back at the monster she leaves behind. I couldn’t follow her if I wanted to as my legs are like rooted trees, firm in their refusal to move from this spot.

Abby let me live. She could have killed me—shouldhave killed me. Have I not done worse things than the man at my feet?

The thought of Morgan has a growl wanting to build inside me. I shouldn’t be in this form, and the wolf writhing beneath my skin seems just as livid as I am. She was too merciful. He didn’t deserve the clean death she gave him. It was hard enough not to tear him to pieces myself and respect her kill, but it was near unbearable allowing her to quicken the end to his suffering.

It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.

I kick him with my foot so that he rolls onto his back. His eyes are still open, that final look of shock forever etched on his face. If I could bring him back just so I could kill him again, I would. If I’d have gotten here only a minute later… If my rage hadn’t been enough to reach the monster…

No. No, this isn’t good enough.

Peeling the flesh from his bones now would give me no satisfaction, but there’s something else that just might. Maybe it’s the wolf in me, but at this point, I don’t give a shit. I move around his corpse so that his head is just in front of me and force my body to relax enough to urinate.

“You got off easy. I should have ended you the first time you went after my mate.”

Mate.

That’s the first time I’ve said the word aloud, and it solidifies something within me. Part of me had remained uncertain about the bond weaving between Abby and I.

The idea of being able to feel each other’s emotions, hear each other’s thoughts seemed like an impossible magic—and yet it had been proven time and time again. I’d heard her voice when the monster killed her friends. She’d heard me call her frail when she was plagued by fever. I’d felt her fear when Morgan took her, and I know she’d heard me beg her to end my life.

Morgan’s face had remained in my mind after I shifted. The memory is far clearer than it should be, as if I wasn’t entirely wolf. I could hear Ruben on the other side of the door as I threw myself against it, tearing and clawing and shredding the wood. The fear that I would kill him just as I’d killed Evan was so potent it was almost tangible, but when I exploded through the door, turning it to little more than splinters and fractured metal, I moved past him without a second thought.

I rub the ribs on the right side of my body as I recall the sharp snapping of bone. I’d no doubt broken a few of them in my desperation to break free, but they’d healed over almost completely when my body reformed. All that remains is a dull ache that will likely dissipate entirely before the sun rises tomorrow. That is—if I’m still human by then.

I shouldn’t even be human now. When I’d locked eyes with Abby in that form, when I saw Morgan preparing to run, I knew I had to be human for this. There’s no guarantee I would have remembered his death after the wolf left me, and I needed to remember it. I’d grappled with the beast, and much to my surprise, it relinquished.

Abby is alive, and that alone is the one good thing the monster ever did. It may not make up for all the lives it’s taken—I’vetaken—but it’s a fucking start. And more than that, for whatever reason, Abby decided that I deserve to keep breathing. She may change her mind, and if that happens, I won’t stop her. I took people from her, so she can have me in any way she desires. Even if things were different, there’s no point in fighting it now. Whether I meant to or not—whether I wanted to or not—I’ve accepted the bond between us.

I may not deserve to have even an ounce of happiness after the things I’ve done, but lying to myself isn’t going to change the fact that I love her. She’s infuriating and stubborn and an absolute pain in my ass, but I fucking love her.

---