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“I have court tomorrow for my brother’s estate. I can come after that, before I come back to the hospital.”

“We need to know if you’re going to make practices. Can you guarantee that you will be able to focus on the team?”

Once again she found herself looking at her reflection in the elevator wall. Who was the girl staring back at her? She was a shell of what she once was, desperate to cling onto any sliver of hope. How could she even think about leaving? How can she leave knowing Riot may not make it?They’ll be other opportunities.“Lewis, as much as this pains me to say this… give my spot to the next person.” Silence was all she heard.

“Are you sure?”

“No.” She laughed, holding back tears that threatened to fall. She just thought it was bad timing. “I can’t commit with Riot being in the hospital, and I have a lot of legal things going on with my brother’s estate. Thank you for the chance.” It was the best explanation she could give Lewis. It was more than she should have to share.

“Maybe next year we can revisit this conversation.”

“Let’s cross our fingers.” The conversation ended as River heard him say goodbye as the phone went silent. She hadn’t taken her eyes off her reflection. Her hair was a hot mess, and any fool could see she’d lost too much weight over the past six weeks. The thought of food was revolting to her. River hadn’t even thought about riding, and she’d probably have trouble handling a bike right now. “Do not look at me that way,” she told the image of the fragile girl she didn’t recognize staring back at her. If anyone were to witness her talking to her reflection, they would assume she needed help.

It was a strange feeling to stare at yourself, praying for guidance, knowing the reflection looking back at you could only stare back. The eyes looking back at her were screaming what was in her head:Do not let this opportunity go!“How can I let my future go so easily?” The answer was harder to say than one would expect. It was like being on autopilot as her finger hit the last number.I can do this. I have to do this.

“Hello?” This is it, do or die. She heard Lewis waiting for her to reply. Steeling her emotions, she knew she was ready.

“Lewis, it’s River. By chance can I recant my decision?”

“Absolutely. Are you sure?” He was waiting for her reassurance. Ready for that steady reply. That firm fuck yes. So, she gave it to him even if it was a lie. Even if her heart was upstairs in a coma. “I’ll be there in a half-hour to sign the papers.”How’s that for a fuck yes?

The ding of the elevator told her to get her shit together before she stepped out. It’d been six weeks, and the reporters still randomly showed up for a photo so they could keep the story alive. Couldn’t a damn movie star get caught with a hooker or something? She could use the break. They descended on her like a swarm of bees. It was all she heard as she struggled to get through the crowd. “There is no change in Johnny Meniere’s condition. His family, along with myself, would ask you to please give us time to get through this tough time. Thank you.”

Chapter Five

The feeling of finality was a feeling River hated. She felt it when Cypress died. Felt it when the judge’s gavel slammed down in the courtroom, telling her Laurel won. Felt it when she moved everything out of Cypress’s house. She was still dealing with that crap. It was her own fault. Being bitter could eat at a person, and anger can make a person do strange things. Take everything from a person who had suffered a horrible loss add in a bitch, and her friends. It makes for a bad day.

If River had anything Laurel could sue her for, she would have already. River would have loved to have seen her face when she walked into that house only to find everything gone. When she told people everything, she meanteverything. Her friends had taken outlet covers, ceiling fans, light fixtures—hell they even had a plumber come in and remove all the bathroom and sink fixtures. They even took drawer knobs and cabinet handles. Every window treatment and piece of crown molding were stripped as well.

When Laurel managed to get River in front of the judge, River asked for the minutes from the last court hearing to be read. Funny how words can be so powerful. The minutes read that the judge had said Laurel was indeed inheriting the house. River had asked, “Just the house? The physical house, as in the shell?” The judge had said, “Yes, Laurel Canyon is awarded the house as the dwelling only, nothing inside the home belongs to her, just the shell.” Well… there you had it.

Rubbing her eyes, she wished Riot were ready to come home. The call telling her he had woken up and was alert had caught River off guard. Every emotion slammed into her at that precise moment.

“River, it’s Mary. Riot’s awake.”

Tears flooded her eyes as she fumbled for words and frantically looked for her keys so she could get there. “Tell him I’m on my way.”

Two weeks it had taken him to recognize her. Talk about holding her breath. Resting her head against the seat, she worried mentioning she had to leave for Florida would set him off. She had to go, it was part of racing. The bikes had to be tested, and no one else could do it for her.He will understand.

She hated discussing the subject with him. One minute he’s all “tell me,” then the next he’s bitching about her talking his ear off about it. One second he’s up and the next he’s down. It was a roller coaster ride. She was willing to ride the ride if he would just tell her how to get on the fucker. Maybe a week apart would do them some good.

***

Twenty fucking minutes and he was yelling at her. Damn it, couldn’t she catch a break. “Look, you selfish prick. I’ve been up here day and night for months being your fucking babysitter. You tell me again you don’t need me and I’m walking out that door and never coming back!”

“Good, I want you to leave and never come back!” Riot yelling at her had River tossing attitude back at him. Tempers had been firing up for days. The pain he was in would make anyone irritable. But the attitude he was giving to not only her, but his family, needed to get checked.

“I never thought I would see the day big, bad Riot Meniere would be a crybaby.” The fury in his heated eyes should’ve worried her, but it didn’t. She’d been dealing with Riot for months now, so she should know how to navigate the mood swings. Today it was venom he was spewing at her. Anger. Hurt. Disbelief. How does one deal with so many emotions when they are all hitting you at once?

“Fuck you, River.”

“Excuse me?” Riot’s always had a nasty temper. It was just new to have it directed at her, and she was raw from dealing with it. His family hadn’t been to see him in a week because of his rants about how they didn’t know what he was experiencing. God help anyone that tried to tell him was wrong.

The door popped open, followed by the nurse. When she whistled loudly, interrupting their argument, they both turned and responded. “What?!”

“You two cannot keep yelling at each other, it’s disturbing the other patients.”

She was right, they couldn’t keep this up. It was becoming toxic. Her temperamental, passionate man was destroying everything around him in the hopes of pushing everyone away. She just didn’t know how to help him. When she suggested talking to a therapist about how he was feeling mentally, she thought he would agree. He did not. “Sorry, we’ll quiet down.”

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