Page 38 of Played

“No ghost today. Okay?”

“No ghost. Just me and the bike.” Problem was, there was always a ghost on the track with her.

***

As she came off the track, River gave the bike to Dan. Ben walked up, arms crossed, looking aggravated. As she thought over the past hour, she couldn’t remember doing anything to warrant the stern expression. “Bike’s feeling great.” Moving past him, River was headed upstairs to talk with Riot when Ben grabbed her arm, stopping her. “What’s up?”

“Riot’s not upstairs.”

“Where is he? I need to talk to him.”

“He left.”

“Left?”That’s new, she thought. Riot never left when she was on the track.

Ben pulled his hat off and scratched his head as he looked at her. Tugging it back on, he adjusted the brim before telling her, “Riot quit. He walked away and said he couldn’t deal with the bullshit. Said to tell you he isn’t a fucking doormat to wipe your shitty shoes on.”

“I… shit.” How could she make it right? “Tell me what to do.”

Ben stared out over the track. His mind went back to a time when things were easy, when racing was about racing, and money had nothing to do with the sport. When people respected each other and worked together on and off the track. He had no clue how she could make it right with Riot. Maybe it could never be made right.

A part of them all had died on that very track seven years ago. Ben wished they could get those pieces back, find their way home. Maybe it was time to walk away. Leave it behind. Or he could tell her the truth, that she died that day and had only been playing at living ever since.

Turning to face River, he did exactly that. “River, seven years ago you died out there on that track. You didn’t know it, but you did. Every day since then you’ve lied, telling yourself you’re fine, that you’re living. The reason things aren’t working with you and Riot has nothing to do with Laurel and everything to do with you not wanting to feel anything. Because if you start to feel, that means you are alive, and Cypress is dead.”

River stared at Ben. She had no words. No witty comeback. No retaliation. He was matter-of-fact in what he was saying. The scary part was that he was right, every word the truth. River had never known what turn the crash had happened in. She hadn’t thought about how Riot or Ben would feel about coming back out there. How they would feel watching her on the track taking chances with her life because—if she were completely honest—she had been waiting to die for years.

“I knew it, I’ve just been lying to myself about that, amongst other things.”

“You need to think long and hard about what you want. Don’t call me until you do.” Ben kissed her forehead and walked off.

After changing from her leathers, River walked into the pit area to find the bikes loaded onto the trailer. Mal had texted, asking if they needed to wait for her. She told them to head out, she had something to do.

She climbed the rows of seats, finally taking a seat at the top. She looked out onto the empty track and listened to the wind as it ran around the track like a ghost looking for a place to haunt. How many days had she wasted chasing that wind, that ghost? Too many to count. She knew a change was needed. The problem with it would be how much change would she be willing to make. Pulling out her phone, she texted Riot.

Not sure what I’m supposed to do. “Chained” by Elle King

She waited over an hour without a response, and eventually went a different direction to prove her point. It took every favor she had left to find his ass, but here she stood standing with her hand mere inches from knocking on Riot’s hotel room door. Her chest felt tight and those damn butterflies were doing somersaults in her stomach again. She had no idea what she was going to say or do when he opened the door.Fuck it, she thought as her fist rapped against the door.

Riot snatched the door open, pissed at the pounding sound. His eyes glared at River—the last person he wanted to deal with after her little show at the track. “What do you want?”

“We need to settle a few things.”

“I’m not in the mood to talk to you, River.”

“Good, I’m not looking for talking.” She shoved him back in the room. The sound of the door slamming shut unnerved her. Here she stood, stalking the one man that could ease her mood or set it off. The one man who knew everything about her except how much she craved him, burned for him, needed him. And he had continuously shut her down, leaving her to simmer. Well he should have been more careful of the fire he was starting. Grabbing his shirt, she pulled him to her, smashing her mouth against his. She mumbled he was an asshole, but it didn’t stop their hands from grabbing at each other. Riot pulled away, staring at her and her beautiful eyes. Then he picked her up, tossing her on the bed.

“You wanna play, sweetheart? I’m in the mood. I’m tired of you jerking me around, tired of the moods and the unwanted anger you throw at me. Tonight, you’re gonna remember exactly who we are together.”

Scrambling farther up the bed away from Riot she watched him, her mind in two different places. One part of her brain was screaming,take your damn clothes off, and the second part was screaming,what the fuck are you thinking?

“You’re such a dick.”

“I know, sweetheart, and you want every inch of me.” Riot kicked his boots off and pulled his T-shirt over his head, tossing it on the chair. “We have a few things to discuss Jo… River.” As he talked, he unbuckled his belt and pulled it from his jeans. The swoosh of leather leaving denim had River shivering and he loved the heated look in her eyes. When he went to remove his jeans, River stopped him. He met her eyes, which were hooded, trying to hide what she was thinking “I know you, JoJo. You want the fight, and you crave what comes after it. Probably need it right about now.”

“Don’t call me that. And I don’t need anything from you.”

“But you want me all the same.” He moved into her space, crowding her. His hands moved up her torso, tugging her hands out of his way as she tried to stop him. River closed her eyes as he leaned in and nuzzled her ear. Her thighs trembled as she tried to not respond to his touch. When his teeth grazed her ear lobe, her body betrayed her.

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