Nanny and the guys can take care of the kids while we’re gone. It will be too damn chaotic to take all the kids with us to get things for Mia and Kyler.
“Take Theo and Rion. Theo can get around in the wheelchair good enough to go with you and Rion can do the heavy liftin’. Let them pick out some things they think Kyler will like since they were little boys once upon a time,” Jayce answers me as Gavin enters the house and his eyes immediately find me.
I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist and hold him. He holds me close for the first time since the phone call that changed our lives.
“I love you, Gavin. Always and forever no matter what we’re going through. I’m here for you. You just need to let us in to help you,” I whisper so only he can hear me.
“I love you, Brooklyn. I’ll be okay eventually. I just need some time to wrap my head around everythin’. Thank you for everythin’ you’ve done over the last week to help me get through this difficult time,” he responds just as quietly.
After kissing both of my men goodbye and making sure Kyler and Mia are okay, the girls sweep me away and we load up in an SUV. Theo and Rion are already waiting for us inside the vehicle. We head into town immediately and are followed by Creed in one of the guys’ trucks to load up all the furniture we’ve ordered for the kids.
“How are you handling everything, Brooklyn?” Ophelia asks me once we’re away from the compound.
“I’m worried about Soul. Really worried. I’m slowly gathering that he didn't have the best relationship with his dad growing up and now he doesn’t get any kind of closure. His dad has passed away and Soul has to live with the guilt and pain filling him about the situation,” I answer them honestly as tears fill my eyes once more. “I don’t want the kids to be hurt by the way he’s so withdrawn and distant. Especially Kyler who is already so quiet and lost. Today is literally the first time he’s said anything unless he’s whispered to Mia when she’s fussy. He’s so quiet and I don’t know how to help either one of them.”
“You’ve been doing it, Brooklyn. You’re showing Soul and Kyler that you’re there for them when they’re ready to open up. Just keep being you and they’ll come around sooner than you expect. Remember, you locked yourself away for weeks because it’s what you needed to do. Soul is dealing with a lot and might need to just take some time for himself the way you did,” Cricket says, her voice softer than I’ve ever heard from her.
“That makes sense,” I reply. “Then I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing, I guess. Plus, it’s not like we’re alone, we have all of y’all.”
“Yes, you do, and the guys will help Soul get sorted out,” Robynn says. “He’s not only having to grieve the loss of what could’ve been with his dad, he’s also got to adjust to the fact that y’all have a ready-made family plus are expecting your own baby. It’s definitely overwhelming.”
Before long, we’re pulling up to the store where we ordered the furniture. Creed pulls the truck over to where you pick things up at the side of the building while Rion parks the SUV as close to the front of the store as he can. We all get out and walk around Theo as he wheels himself inside the store. Every single one of us grabs a cart and we make our way to the baby section where we can grab everything we need. Rion and Theo head for the games to pick out toys and things for Kyler while the rest of us systematically make our way through the store to grab everything else. By the time we’re done shopping, every single cart is overflowing with the items we need for the kids. Cricket and Ophelia actually left their full carts up at customer service to grab two more for the food we’ll need to bring into the house for the kids. I’m fucking exhausted and we still have so much to do once we get home. Welcome to being a parent!
Chapter Twenty-Two
Wheels
WITH THE WOMEN gone except for Nanny, now is the perfect time to talk to Gavin. The guys are either outside watching Kyler and Jethro race around the yard together or in the house with their children. Scorch is one of the guys inside with his daughter in his arms as he talks to Nanny. Laughter from Kyler fills the house since Anguish opened one of the windows in the kitchen so we could hear what’s going on out there. My heart fills with love at the small change in Kyler from one interaction with Jethro. I definitely see a dog in our future. Maybe a puppy Kyler can grow up with. Seeing him with Jethro makes me feel as if this decision is the right one and it’s something we’ll have to talk about as a family later tonight or tomorrow. I won’t just spring bringing a puppy into our home on everyone with all the changes we currently have taking place.
Sitting on the couch next to my best friend, I don’t hesitate to begin the hard conversation we need to have.
“Gavin, you need to talk to me. What’s goin’ on in your head?” I ask him, my voice low so only he hears me.
“I can’t even begin to process it all, Jayce. I went from havin’ a relationship with my dad in the future as he heals and learns to deal with his grief over losin’ my mom to that bein’ yanked away from me. I’ve already mourned him once and now I’m goin’ through it all again. Only this time we have Kyler and Mia to take care of. I feel as if I’m fuckin’ drownin’ and there’s no safety net to pull me out of the water pullin’ me deeper and deeper,” Gavin tells me, tears filling his face as he looks up at me.
My best friend is a fucking wreck. He hasn’t shaved his face since the day he got the call from Mrs. DeGraw. The beanie he always wears is pushed back on his head farther than normal and I can see the short strands of hair sticking up all over the place. His clothes have been changed, but they’re wrinkled and look as if he’s been wearing them for days instead of since this morning when we left to come back home.
Yeah, we made the trip that should’ve taken us into tomorrow to get back to Odin’s Gap today. We pushed ourselves and the women but not a single person complained. The kids were really good for Fetch in the SUV and when we pulled over to grab something quick to eat and stock up on snacks while filling up the vehicles, the parents checked on their kids and made sure they had everything needed for the trip home. Fetch said most of the kids slept during the drive and he kept an eye on them at all times to make sure nothing happened while under his care. I’m pretty sure at this point, all of them who went shopping are running on fumes, but Kyler and Mia need someplace to sleep tonight, so there was a bit of urgency involved. The fact that the ol’ ladies decided to get the other stuff amazes me, but they’re a strong group of badass women, our wife included.
“I get that, Gavin. But you need to pull your head out of your ass. I’m not sayin’ don’t grieve and to do what you have to do as you mourn your loss. Take the time you need. But we have two kids who need us and you’re part of that. If anythin’, you’re more important than Brooklyn and myself because you’re their blood brother and they’re gonna turn to you. Kyler has been watchin’ you when he’s awake and not watchin’ out for Mia and Brooklyn. Every single time he looks at you, his eyes almost close as they fill with tears and he frowns. You’re makin’ that kid believe you want nothin’ to do with him and this isn’t his fault. You need to be there for him and help him navigate how to get through everythin’ he’s feelin’ right now too. Brooklyn and I can only do so much, Gavin,” I state, as he looks at me with shock on his face while his eyes move toward the back door where Kyler, Fetch, and Jethro are entering the house after playing outside for a while. “When you feel like you’re drownin’, we’ll pull you out and get you away. Other than that, you need to be present for these kids.”
Kyler grabs his motorcycle from the kitchen table and makes his way into the living room where Gavin and I are sitting. He sits on the floor right in front of us and begins to roll the bike over the carpet. Every few seconds, Kyler looks up at his big brother before turning his eyes away again. I nudge Gavin and he finally closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before getting down on the floor with his brother.
“Hey, Kyler,” Gavin says softly as Kyler stops rolling his bike around the floor and looks up to his brother. “Did you have fun playing with Fetch and Jethro?”
“G-G-Gavin,” Kyler says, tears filling his eyes as they spill over and roll down his face. This is the first time Kyler has cried that we know of since being told about his parents.
Gavin doesn’t hesitate to pull his brother up in his arms and hold his shaking body to him. I watch as my best friend breaks and cries right along with his brother. The two of them are silent as they shed tears together. Scorch and Goliath come in the room and block it off from anyone else entering. This is a moment needed between the two and no one needs to witness them breaking down. Not because it makes them weak, but because they need to form their own bond now, and while it’s due to the untimely deaths, it’ll hopefully help them start relying on one another.
After a long time, Kyler pulls back a little bit and looks up at Gavin as he wipes the tears from his face. My best friend takes a few deep breaths before he starts speaking.
“Kyler, I’m your big brother and I love you so much. You and Mia are gonna live here with us now and we’re gonna take care of you. I know you’ve been through so much over the last week, and it’s okay to cry, scream, yell, not talk, and all of that. If it gets to be too much for you, you have to promise me that you’ll come to Brooklyn, Jayce, or me. We’ll talk to you, listen to whatever you wanna talk about, and just get you away from wherever we are,” Gavin says, more tears filling his eyes as Kyler stares up at him.
“You don’t leave us?” Kyler asks, his little voice shaking as muttered curses come from several men in the house with us.
“No, Kyler. I won’t ever leave you. Jayce and Brooklyn won’t ever leave you either. Mia and you are with us and that won’t ever change. We’re gonna take care of you and make sure you have everythin’ you need and want. All the men and women here will be there for you. And I know it’s gonna take you time to open up and trust everyone else, that’s okay. Just know that if you can’t find one of us, these guys will always be here. Fetch especially. He’s always around. And you’ll see Jethro around the property too,” Gavin says, as Kyler looks toward Scorch and Goliath with wary eyes until he notices Scorch holding a baby much smaller than Mia.
“Hey, Kyler. Would you like to meet my daughter?” Scorch asks him, getting down on his knees so he’s more at Kyler’s level.