Page 67 of Wrath

“Do you want to keep it?” I ask her again.

“If I didn’t have to worry about being on my own, or money, and–”

“You're never gonna be on your own.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder and drag her closer. “I’m always gonna be here for you.”

“Not if Ronnie Wilkins finds out you're the father of his grandson.” She looks up at me cleverly.

“I gotta find a way to see them.” I feel that heavy ache in my chest all over again when I wonder what they’re doing right now.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” Alicia almost sounds surprised, and I get it, I’ve never shown any kinda interest in being committed to a woman before Lettie. Which only makes me more certain that she’s the one.

“Then you need to speak to Raze.” She sits up, looking frustrated with me. “There's a chance he can help. Lettie is miserable. She wants you to be together just as much as you do, and she’s prepared to walk away from her family for that to happen. She took a huge risk lying to her father so she could drive out to San José and meet with me and Mom.”

“I’m also assumin’ she wants me to stay alive.” I wish Alicia could see that things just ain’t that simple.

“The club is different now, Saul, Raze will understand. Family is important to him. All you have to do is explain that you didn’t know who she was. You’ve got a kid together. A son, who deserves to have his daddy looking after him. Every dayshe’s there with them puts them both in danger. You need to bring them home.” Her eyes fill up with tears and just the idea of having everyone I love under the same roof almost has mine doing the same.

“I’ll speak to Raze when the time is right, there’s just too much goin’ on right now. I wouldn’t wanna bring Lettie and Rory into it. I got a feelin’ things are gonna be gettin’ real heavy.”

“And this is the last thing we need.” Alicia looks down at the hand that seems to instinctively rest on her stomach.

“Yeah, but it’s still gonna be awesome. Kid’s already got a good start in life with me as an uncle.” I press my hand over hers.

“You need to figure out how you're gonna be a dad, first.” She hits me with a judgemental look that proves she ain’t gonna let up on this.

“I will.” I know I have to come up with some kinda plan and make it happen soon. It pains me to say it, but Alicia’s right, every day my family spends in Sacramento is another day they’re in danger.

“Lettie thinks she can get away again in two weeks’ time, you should come.”

“Alicia, I can’t do that. If I see ‘em, there's no way I’d ever let them go back, and this all requires a lotta careful plannin’. You should cancel seein’ her. It’s not safe, especially now it ain’t just you ya gotta worry about.” I won’t have her getting caught up in all this.

“We gotta be smart if we want this to work out. Hopefully, it won’t be long before your nephew and mine are lookin’ out for each other, the way we always have.” The thought of that makes me smile.

“I was kind of hoping it would be a girl.” Alicia bites her lip, proving that deep down she’s a little bit excited. She just hasn’t been ready to admit that to herself because she’s been worrying.

“Are you serious, you wanna run the risk of birthing a girl that looks like Griller?”

“Oh, good point.” It looks as if that thought unnerves her but it makes us both laugh.

“It’s kinda sad, ain’t it?” Her happiness seems to falter as her thumb strokes affectionately over her stomach. The way she’s suddenly become so maternal proves to me that she always knew what she wanted to do, she was just afraid of it. “Knowing now what I do about Griller, I think he would have made a good dad.” She smiles to herself and when her tears start to come, she quickly wipes them away. “I told you this baby was taking over.” She tries to make light of it.

“Hey, it’s okay to be happy about this, sis. You're gonna be a great mom, and you gotta a whole bunch of people who care about ya that will wanna help.” The whole vibe at the club has changed since Cliff left. For the first time since I joined, it feels like a brotherhood.

“I’m gonna have to tell Griller’s family, they deserve to know.” She looks nervous as hell about that.

“We can make that happen,” I assure her. Griller’s brother, Greaser, left not long after Raze became prez, but I’m sure we can track him down and get information about their folks. Griller thought a lot of his mom, I know he’d want her to be a part of this. Just like I want my parents to be part of my son’s life.

“I just need a little time to get my own head around it,” Alicia yawns.

“We’ll let ‘em know whenever you're ready to, you just focus your attention on takin’ care of my niece or nephew.” I smile at her.

“I’m beat, I’m going to bed.” She kisses me on the cheek before getting up, and heading toward her room, while I rest my head back on the couch and close my eyes.

“Saul.” I look back up when I hear her voice. “Thanks…for everything.” She’s turned back around and is looking so small and vulnerable.

“What are big brothers for?” I smile back at her, and once she’s disappeared to her room I take out my cell and scroll to the picture she sent me a few days ago. A picture of the strong, healthy boy I should be sitting here holding in my arms. Lettie did a real good job. He came out big, weighing over 9lb and she should have never had to go through that all by herself. I hate that I missed it all. I can’t stand knowing that right now they are living with the fuckin’ enemy. Every night since Lettie told me she was pregnant, I’ve considered driving out to Sacramento to get her. Maybe Razecouldhelp me if I told him the truth. I just can’t face up to doing that, right now. The risks are far too great for all of us.

“What’s up?” I jump when Vike lets himself in, and quickly locking my phone I shove it back in my pocket.

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