Page 40 of Wrath

“Aaron, please!” I cry out, desperate for us to talk about what just happened. “At least fucking look at me.” I wipe my tears and try not to think about all the bad things that could have happened. There was a time back there when I thought we’d both end up dead. “It could have been much wor–”

“Don’t say that, don’t say it could have been worse.” He grips the steering wheel tight as he heads in the direction of his houseboat.

“Aaron, those men were gonna rap–”

“Stop!” he yells at me, scrubbing his hand over his face in frustration. I can see there is no chance of me getting through to him, so I rest back in my seat and let the tears flow while he continues to drive. There’s a long, heavy silence between usuntil he pulls up at the marina and when I go to open my door and get out, he stops me. “Stay here, I won’t be long.” He gets out and rushes down the wharf and I watch the rain pelt against the windshield while I wait for him.

I’m sore, I’m tired, and I can’t even think about what my parents will think when I get home. I’m going to have to come up with an excuse for being so late, and for the mess I’m in.

Eventually, Aaron comes back and as he jumps inside the cage, I notice him place a holdall on the seat between us.

“Where are we going?” I ask as he pulls out of the marina and starts heading toward my place.“Aaron, I don’t think I can leave here tonight, I’ll need longer to talk with my parents. Maybe, if we go to New York I can still take that scholarship. I can work in the evenings and on weekends, you could find a good trainer.” He says nothing, just keeps focusing on the road as the rain continues to hammer at the glass. The way he’s closing himself off is really starting to scare me.

“Aaron, you haven’t looked at me since we left, please, look at me.” I want to scream and shake him. Right now, he’s really freaking me out. Yet despite my pleading, he still doesn’t respond.

I look out the window and let everything that happened tonight sink in. I lost my virginity to the man I love in front of eight other men, eight men who all probably know my brother and my birth father. I don’t know what Aaron is gonna tell my brother when he visits him tomorrow, but it can’t be the truth. Raze will already be pissed off at the fact he’s in prison, and him being inside means he can’t do anything about this anyway. I don’t want him to have to worry. I keep looking out the window to avoid how angry and broken Aaron looks, and when we pull up at the top of my street and he cuts his engine, we both sit in a long, awkward silence watching the windscreen wipers clear the rain.

“Ya have to leave town.” Aaron eventually speaks up, his voice sounding weak and raspy while his eyes still refuse to look at me.

“Yes, that’s what we’ll do, we’ll leave town. I just nee–”

“Ya not hearin’ me, Eden.” He shakes his head and tenses his jaw. “Youneed to get outta town, get as far away from this place and the club as ya can, go to a state where we don’t have a charter. My dad has more men involved than I thought, his reach is bigger than a Long Beach.

“Aaron, I can’t just leave, I have a family here. I’ve got you.” I take his hand in mine and feel a prickle in my chest when he closes his eyes like my words just hurt him.

“Ya have a scholarship, you need to take it,” He picks up the holdall that’s between us and dumps it on my lap. “There's enough money in there to keep ya in accommodation for your first year, I’ll figure somethin’ out for the second,” he explains, detaching himself further and further away from me.

“Aaron, no… I don’t want your money, I want to be with you. If we leave we leave together.” Now I’m really starting to panic.

“I’mwhat got ya into this mess, Eden.” He turns to look at me and the way hurt and anger merge together in his eyes makes him look dangerous. “How can you say that when I just had to..” He gags on the words he can’t get out and I quickly shake my head at him.

“You can’t blame yourself for this, this is all your dad’s fault. He’s evil and he’s cruel and Iwon’tlet him break us.”

“Eden, there can never be anus. I can’t offer you a life. How can I protect ya from danger, when Iamthe danger?”

“Aaro–”

“Eden, I just had to fuck ya in front of eight men!” He slams his hand into the steering wheel.“Eight men you would never have come in contact with if ya weren’t important to me. Ishould have fought.” He shakes his head like he’s disappointed with himself.

“Fought?!There were eight of them, you had no chance.” I try and make him see some sense.

“I’ve never backed down from a fight before, and I promised Raze I’d take care of ya.”

“And that's what you did, you did what you had to do…we both did,” I remind him, feeling desperate and completely out of control.

“I’ll never make ya happy.” He keeps shaking his head and I feel him slipping further and further away from me. “I was stupid to think that I ever could. You deserve to get everythin’ good outta this world and with me, all you're ever gonna get is the bad.” His eyes narrow as if he’s just realized something. “Those fuckers used you as my initiation. I’ll get my patch now. I’m a fuckin’ Soul.” The thought seems to unnerve him. “It was all I ever wanted… Until I met you.” He looks back across at me and frowns. “Tonight was his way of making me realize that I can’t have both.”

He looks like he’s gonna cry, I’ve never seen him look so weak. I can’t bear it.

“Then choose me,” I beg, gripping his hand tight. “We can?—”

“It’s not a fuckin’ choice, Eden, not when your dad is Cliff Adams. I’ll never be free, and even if I could be, you’d never be safe. Club life is the only one I’ve ever known. There are other charters I can go to, but I can’t walk away completely, he’d never let it be that easy for me.”

“Aaron, I love you. I’ll come with you wherever you go, just please don’t leave me.”

“Don’t ya see that tonight was just the start of what your future could hold? If you’re somethin’ that matters to me, then you're somethin’ he can use. I won’t put you in danger like that again.” He’s got a stern look on his face. “Take the money. Takethe scholarship, and forget I ever existed.” The anger in his eyes has turned to pain.

“Don’t do this,” I plead with him.

---