Page 82 of Cashmere Ruin

She shakes her head with a laugh. But there’s a bitterness to it, like a piece of sweet candy gone sour. “I’m not talking about vacation days—though it certainly wouldn’t hurt. I’m asking you to go easier on him. Lately, he’s been… in a darker place than most.”

For some reason, her words irk me. “Right, and you know this because…?”

“Because I have eyes, Matvey. That look you’ve been seeing on April’s face? I’ve been seeing it on Yuri’s every night since yourfight.” Her stare grows more distant, lost in the Manhattan skyline. “Maybe even before then.”

“You talk as if I’m the monster in this story.”

She shakes her head once. “Not a monster, no. But it still takes a toll.”

“What does?”

“Loving you.”

If this had been a week earlier, I would’ve torn into her. Denied, denied, denied, until my last furious breath. But that was then. Now, it’s all I can do to put up half a fight.

“He betrayed me, Petra. He lied to me. He?—”

“Don’t you get tired?”

I blink. “Of what?”

“Of holding a grudge against the whole world.”

For the first time in a long time, I’m stunned into silence.

I might’ve stood there forever if something didn’t interrupt. “Matvey?”

The sound of that third voice turns both our heads. “April.”

“I thought that was you. I heard…” She shakes her head. “Sorry. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.”

“Nonsense.” Petra smiles. “Did you follow the doctor’s orders?”

“Yeah. Thanks for the advice.” She turns to me. “Did you know Petra has a PhD in History?”

“No, she doesn?—”

“Alright then!” Petra claps her hands loudly. “I’ll be on my merry way. Get some sleep. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of.”

“Like going to church?”

“Always a riot to chat with you, husband.” She gives April a small squeeze on the shoulder. “See you for alterations.”

Then she sashays out the door.

Silence fills the empty space. April makes herself small by my side. Her eyes start wandering around the dark balcony, as if not knowing where to look.

“So, alterations?” I ask.

She nods reluctantly. “Petra’s been helping me with a dress. It’s for…” She shakes her head. “Forget it. It’s nothing important.”

She starts heading back in, but I stop her, my hand on hers. “April. Tell me what it’s for.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to know.”

Because I want to learn everything I’ve spent my time trying not to see. Everything that makes youyou.

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