Page 129 of Cashmere Ruin

“I’m serious. I shouldn’t be here.”

“April.” Matvey leans over. His next words, he speaks directly into my ear. “If you don’t stop that right now, I’ll be forced to spank you in front of all these good people. Do you want that?”

I swallow. I hate to admit it, but part of me very much wants that. “No, sir.”

“Good. Then don’t insult my woman’s skill in front of me.”

I roll my eyes, smiling despite myself. “That’s cheating.”

We came here on our own. I was too nervous to invite anyone, and the only other people who knew—Petra and Elias—are holding down the fort back home, one for Matvey and one for myself. From what he’s told me, things have been tense with his Bratva lately, enough that he needs someone to keep watch at all times. With Yuri busy with some covert mission and Grisha standing guard for Elias and May, there was no one left to ask.

I could’ve invited June, though. Corey and Rob, too—that’s if Rob’s firm has finally made peace with giving its lawyers actual vacation days. Either way, I didn’t have to be here on my lonesome.

But I just couldn’t bring myself to invite anyone. I couldn’t bring myself to be humiliated in front of my closest friends. To fail in front of an audience.

Because I’m going to fail, aren’t I?

Negative thoughts. Self-loathing spiral.I force myself to snap out of it. This isn’t me anymore. This can’t be me, not if I want to be a good mother and partner. It’s like Dr. Knox says: if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell can you love somebody else?

(Though I’m pretty sure she stole that one from a drag show.)

Besides, I’m not actually alone here. In fact, I’m with the person I wanted here the most. “Twelve o’clock. Code purple.”

“Wait, what was code purple again? Armani? Or…” I blanch. “Oh.”

Definitely not Armani.

I follow Matvey’s line of sight to a small group of richly-dressed people. I mean,everyonehere is oozing fashion, but those specific three clearly spared no expense.

And they’re coming straight towards us.

“Crap,” I mutter.

“April!” Nora greets with her fakest smile yet. “How odd to see you here.”

What, because you stole my dress?“Hi, Nora. Dad.”

Off to the side, Dominic stays resolutely quiet. The only sign he heard me at all is a short nod of acknowledgement.

Gee, how heartwarming. Missed you too, Pops.

“Where’s May?” Anne asks without even saying hello. “You didn’t leave her home alone again, did you?”

“Come now, Anne. I’m sure your sister doesn’t do it all the time. Surely she can afford a sitter… somewhere in the Bronx.”

Any other time, these comments would have incensed me. They would have driven me crazy with outrage, making me stammer out one weak comeback after the other.

Now, however, all I can feel is a strange sort of calm. Maybe it’s all the sessions with Dr. Knox, or Matvey’s quiet, solid presence by my side, but their words just… slide off. Like I’m not the same person they knew how to hurt.

“Of course.” I smile brightly. “Don’t worry, Nora. You didn’t takeallmy money.”

Nora’s jaw nearly falls to the floor. It’s quite the sight—almost makes me laugh out loud. “Why, I…!”

Anne clicks her tongue, eyes suddenly cold and sharp. “Say, sister, will we get to see your dress?”

“Sure.” I shrug. “Why? Wanna steal that, too?”

“April!” Nora gasps. “Is that any way to talk to your family?”