Page 205 of Cashmere Cruelty

And again, that voice:She’s not family.

She’s notblood.

But Yuri is.

“No one. Promise me, Motya.”

And I’ll be damned if I turn into a fucking blood traitor, too.

I won’t turn on my family.

I won’t be my father.

So I rise from my chair and I tear April to pieces.

It feels like the worst thing I’ve ever done: pushing her away. Ripping her love for me out of her chest with my bare hands. Beingcruel.

But if it’ll help make her fall out of love with me, then so be it.

“I owe you nothing. And you don’t owe me anything, either.”

Her life will continue after me. Ithasto continue after me.

So let me be the monster of her story.

“If you want June to move back in, I won’t stand in your way. And if you…”

Say it. Say it, you coward.

Set her fuckingfree.

“And if I want somebody else to move in, you won’t stand in my way, either?”

As soon as I hear her say those words, I fucking loseit.“No.”

“‘No?’”

“You can’t have someone else,”I growl, too far gone to realize the way her eyes shine with hope. Hope that I’ll take her back; that I’ll finallyclaim her.“Not now, not ever. You are mine.”

But I can’t.

I can’t claim her. I can’t have her.

And ifIcan’t…

“If I can’t have you, no one can.”

Watching her shatter is like taking a knife to the heart.

“No one?”she asks me with a broken voice, all restraint gone.“You want me to be alone?”

I want you to be withme.I want to own you so completely you’ll never think about another man again.Never.

It’s so fucking selfish. I wanted to set her free, didn’t I? I was tearing her apart to push her away from me, wasn’t I?

So why did it end up likethis?

“You don’t want me, but you want me to be alone—forever?”

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