Page 183 of Cashmere Cruelty

When I find Matvey again in the waiting room, I can’t hold it back anymore: I bury my face in his chest and break down.

“What if it’s too late?” I sob, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. “What if it’s all my fault?”

“It’s not,” Matvey rasps into my ear. “It’ll never be your fault, April.”

The way he says it, it’s almost like he’s claiming that responsibility for himself.

But I don’t want that. If this is where it ends for the three of us, I don’t want Matvey to carry that guilt. I don’t want him to do it alone.

“Why did you call off the wedding…?” I mumble out, unable to keep it in any longer. “Why didn’t you marry Petra?”

Matvey’s breath halts. His chest stills under my cheek. In response, my heart starts hammering, as if beating for the both of us.

And then, just as Matvey’s lips are parting around an answer, Dr. Allan walks in.

“Good news,” she says briskly. “Your baby’s perfectly healthy. What you just experienced was Braxton-Hicks. It’s a common false alarm.”

It’s like the weight of the world has fallen off my shoulders. Dr. Allan is still talking, but my head’s ringing, a single sentence playing in a loop:

My baby’s okay. My baby’s okay. My baby’s okay.

I don’t realize I’m falling until Matvey catches me. “Are you alright, April?”

“Sorry,” I breathe. His hands are strong around me, warm and firm.Safe.“I just… got dizzy for a second there.”

Matvey nods. “Dr. Allan, please continue.”

Dr. Allan taps her clipboard with her pen. “As I was saying, the pregnancy has gone on beyond what it’s considered safe. I try to respect the mother’s wishes as much as possible, but in this case, I’m afraid that’s no longer advisable.”

I swallow. “So you’re saying…?”

“We have to induce,” Dr. Allan cuts short. “By the end of the week.”

I let that word sink in.Induce.It’s enough to make a chill go through me.

Images crowd my head: my mother, lying in a pool of blood. Charlie, his newborn skin nearly purple as he was dragged into the world with barely a breath left in him. Me, small and powerless and alone.

But it’s different now. I’m not that terrified kid anymore. I’m not powerless.

And I’m not alone anymore, either.

“April was very clear, Doctor,” I hear Matvey argue on my behalf. “Inducing is out of the question. If there really is nothing wrong with the baby?—”

“It’s okay.”

Matvey turns to me. “You don’t have to go along with this.”

“I do,” I reply. “Dr. Allan’s right. It’s time.”

Then I give Matvey’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be fine,” I tell him, or maybe I’m talking to myself. Maybe, all along, it wasn’t Nugget who wasn’t ready. It wasme. “By the end of the week, we’ll get to meet our baby. Isn’t that amazing?”

Matvey’s expression softens. “Then we have a lot to prepare.”

“I’ll call to set the date.” Dr. Allan smiles. “For now, go home and rest, April. No more unnecessary efforts.”

“No more,” I promise.

In the parking lot, we find Grisha waiting for us. “Ms. Flowers,” he greets.

---