Page 179 of Cashmere Cruelty

But I know what it really means.

It’s gone south.

From the corner of my eye, I see a pair of guards rushing over.

It’s a split-second decision. I don’t owe Petra anything—not after what she did to me. To Nugget.

I almost hear Matvey’s voice in my mind:She’s the one who came here without a plan. Who was in over her head. Who let emotions cloud her judgment. If she fails because of that, then so be it.

But it’s like I told Petra after all: I’m not Matvey.

“AHH!”

I let out a bloodcurdling scream. The audience turns to me as one; even the guards halt and about face.

I scream louder and clutch my belly.

“Miss?!” One of the guards rushes over. “Are you alright?”

“The baby…” I groan. “I think the baby’s?—”

At the edge of my vision, I see Petra behind the scenes: mussed-up, empty-handed, ready to run.

But then she hesitates.

For a second, I’m terrified she won’t go. That she’ll go back in for the tiara, kill everyone in her way. Or that she’ll let herself get caught.

That’s when she sees me, too.

Go, I mouth to her.Run.

Then I double down on my charade. I keep screaming myself hoarse, falling to the floor. The guards are on me now, clearly itching to go but unable, because the crowd is walling us all in.

And then, little by little, it becomes easier. Little by little, I don’t have to force myself as much. I roll and wail like a banshee and, for the first time in the whole night, I don’t have to worry about lying.

Because now, the pain is real.

56

MATVEY

The first thing I hear is sirens.

I hurl myself out of the car while it’s still moving.

Yuri slows down, calling after me. “Matvey!”

But I don’t hear him. I can’t hear a goddamn thing. Only a sharp ringing in my ears… and those sirens.

When I see the police on the scene, the ringing gets louder. The building’s being evacuated—why?

I’m apakhan.Fear is a privilege that people like me don’t have. Ever since I left that little boy I used to be behind in the Russian snow, ever since I donned the mantle of leader, I never allowed myself to feel fear again.

But when I see April heaving on the steps, I remember what it’s like to be afraid.

“April!” I jump the police cordon, oblivious to the officers shouting after me.

They want to stop me?

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