Page 34 of Mended Hearts

“Hey, Mom.” I put my arm around Dylan, pulling him close to me. I’m suddenly nervous and hold on to him with everything I have. Because he is everything I have.

“Echo!” She hurries over and places her hand on my arm.

“It’s good to see you.” I’m shocked at my own admission and how easily those words slide from my mouth. But I can feel the heavy weight I’ve carried for the last thirteen years melting away. While my mother and I have had somewhat of a relationship since I took off, it still hasn’t been what it should be. I’ve kept her at a distance, keeping her closed off. I only allowed her into my life for Dylan’s sake. She wraps her arms around me and Dylan, and I don’t fight it like normal. Instead, I hug her back.

“I’ve missed you too, Mom.” My lip quivers with emotion as my body melts into her, finding comfort in her arms. Arms that I’ve truly missed and have at times wished could hold me and comfort me.

Over the years, I made it my mission to meet up with my mom at least twice or more a year for her to take Dylan for a week so he could have a relationship with his grandparents. I never wanted him to suffer and miss out because of me. Besides those times, emails, cards, missed phone calls, and scattered FaceTiming has only made up for so much. My dad is the only one I’ve stayed shut off from in its entirety. I’ve never had the inkling to change that until now. I’m just not sure how we can mend what destroyed us. It’s usually easier to get over the past when you don’t have it staring you back in the face. But when your past follows you to the present and will be in your future, it tends to make looking beyond it all the more difficult.

Dylan represents my past. He represents what my dad cursed and ruined. But to me, he represents love. He’s the proof that earth-shattering love does exist.

“Excuse me. But you guys are kind of smooshing me.”

My mom and I loosen our grip on each other and laugh as we both look down at Dylan, who lets out a sigh of relief.

“I wasn’t expecting you guys to show until this evening,” my mom says as we make our way through the gate, walking toward our cars.

“So what now?” Dylan asks, needing to be entertained.

I look out to the street where kids are playing. A teenage girl on rollerblades flies by, bopping her head to the music pounding through her headphones. She reminds me a lot of myself and how I used to jog everywhere I went since my parents never bought me a car. Heck, I probably would’ve anyways even if they had. A warm breeze twirls my hair around, and a faint smell of a grill in the distance catches my nose, causing my stomach to growl.

“So what brings you back? You didn’t really mention why when you called last week.” She’s not prying. She’s concerned. I get it, I really do. But it’s not just a quick answer. If I tell her the immediate reasoning, I have to tell her everything that has led up to it for it to make sense why I’m so torn. Trust has been lost on both sides, and now it has to be gained. It’s not that I don’t trust her. It’s more that right now I don’t trust myself. I’m still trying to figure it all out.

“We just needed to get away for a while, and my best friend moved here at the beginning of the month, so you wanting to meet here worked out perfectly.” Everything I said is the truth. Partial truth but truth nonetheless.

“Well, for whatever reason it is, I’m glad you got a hold of me.” She knows I could have snuck back here and not bothered to inform her. Maybe if everything back home was where it was six months ago, that might have been the case. Hell, I wouldn’t even be here if that were the case.

My mom stops at the back of her car and looks over at the house. “The only thing I had planned while waiting for you guyswas to work on the house some. The people who moved out did minimal cleaning. The realtor told us we needed to get someone in to clean it if we weren’t planning on making the trip ourselves. She also recommended doing some simple updating to make it more appealing. But we just haven’t had the time to do that.”

“You mean you.” I point out. I don’t see my dad making the four-hour trip here to help.

She looked downward and to my dismay, her voice broke slightly. “He’s changed.” But without clarifying, she veers off and asks, “So are you guys hungry?” There’s hopefulness in her voice as she glances back and forth between me and Dylan. Dylan tugs on my arm, and I look down into his pleading eyes, begging for us to do something besides continue standing here.

I give him a smile before looking back up at my mother.

“Starving,” I say, my appetite making its return in full force.

“It’s such a pretty day out. What do you think about walking to the diner down the street?”

“Sounds perfect,” I answer, wrapping my arm around Dylan as we head for Tootie Fruitie’s.

The waitress seats us up front in a window booth. I smile as the cushions slightly squeak as the three of us sit down.

“Gross. Who farted?” Dylan asks with his face twisted in disgust.

“Oh, shush. It’s the seats.”

“Mmmhmm. That’s what I’d say too.” He grabs a menu, and I just shake my head, not even bothering to reply. I look over at my mom, who’s watching the two of us with happiness in her eyes and a smile.

“Kids,” she says, letting out a sigh of contentment.

“Yeah, they’re so great,” I reply sarcastically, then reach over, ruffling Dylan’s hair.

“Ma,” he whines, pulling away from me. “I’m not very hungry. So.” He closes the menu and places it in front of him and looks at me. “What would you recommend?”

“Hmm.” I scan over the options. “For a growing boy who isn’t very hungry, I’d recommend a chocolate shake and fries.”

“Eww.” He scrunches his cheeks to his eyes. “Disgusting.”

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