Page 17 of A Surrender Of Hope

“Fine,” I say between gritted teeth as I shove at his chest, needing space. I feel like I’m on fire, sweat beading at my temple as my hands shake. “Then let me go!”

“Are you going to run?” he asks, and I nod, knowing lying will be useless since he’ll know. But hell, I really need some space from him. “Then no. I won't be letting you go. We need to talk, and I only have so much control. You run, and not only will I hunt your sweet ass down, but you’ll also end up bent over the nearest flat surface, fucked and owned before you can even process what happened. Do you understand me? I have been trying to keep myself in check, but in true fucking Meyer fashion, you keep poking every damn button I have!”

“I haven't done a damn thing but exist! I tried to leave months ago, but you made me stay! Why are you mad at me?”I ask, more confused than ever. Not only by the whole fucked and owned bit, but how much I really truly want that. Nox’s eyes widen, and he pulls back from me, a flicker of hurt crossing his expression.

“You want to leave?” Nox asks, the growl in his voice lessening as he stares down at me, eyes moving from mine to my lips, then back as he swallows hard. My heart lurches, and I sigh, letting my head hang as I slowly shake my head. “Don’t lie to me,” Nox mutters, sounding almost dejected. “Do you want to leave, Meyer? If I told you, you could walk out that door and leave this place, never coming back to this castle or its inhabitants. Would you go?”

“Would you let me? And don’t lie to me,” I parrot his words back to him, needing to know this answer. Everything has been more than a little confusing between me and Lennox. I’ve found a place with Valen, I feel it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And even Creed, with our ups and downs, has been one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. Being with him is as easy as breathing.

But Nox? There is tension there, an attraction that makes me long to be in his arms one moment, but then he opens his infuriating mouth, and I want to kick him in the balls the next. I already know my answer, but it hinges on whatever he is about to say. Nox’s hands fall from my body as he slowly stands to his full height, which remains taller than normal. His Demon form is still slightly present, and he stares down at me with a look I can’t decipher. There is a long, painful beat of silence where I hold my breath, the nerves in my belly making me feel sick as I wait for his response.

“I don’t know if I could allow you to leave with no protection,” he finally admits, and I frown, unsure if that is a yes or no answer.“But,” he rasps, shaking his head as he tears his eyes away from me with a pained grunt. He looks so conflicted atthis moment that I almost feel bad about asking the question. “I would let you go if that’s what you truly wanted, Meyer. You’re not a prisoner here.”

Something inside me finally relaxes, melting some of my resistance toward this man. Is everything okay between us now? No, not even close, but am I willing to stay and work toward something better? Yes, as long as he is actually telling the truth. I have a feeling that Nox and I will never get along the way I do with Creed or Valen, but that's a good thing, right? He challenges me, and pushes me to do new things. Not in a Razar tossing me off the wall way… but in his own protective asshole way. I don’t think I would know what to do if Nox was super sweet and nice. It would throw our whole dynamic off.

Besides, if there is anything I’ve learned from the past few months, it’s that these men may not be perfect, but neither am I. And I’m starting to think that leaving now would be the greatest mistake of my life.

My chest feels a million times lighter at Nox’s words, and I didn’t realize how important his answer was to me until he said it out loud. Nox is still looking away, refusing to meet my eyes, so I step right in front of him, closing the small distance he gave me while he was thinking about his answer. Reaching up, I palm his bearded cheek and force him to look at me. When our eyes meet, an explosion of excitement, nervousness, and arousal courses through me.

“I don’t want to leave, Lennox.” I keep our eyes locked, watching as his eyes flutter shut and a shaky breath breaks from his parted lips. “I want to stay here with Valen… Creed… hell, even Razar, though he might kill me for saying that.” His big hands dart out, wrapping around my waist, fingers digging into my sides as he slowly pulls me closer to him. He leans the cheek I have cupped in my hand further into my hold, an almost purr of contentment sounding from his chest. He ducks his head closerto mine, bringing with him the masculine scent of sandalwood and smoke as my toes curl against the cold wood of the floor.

“And you, Lennox Regalis,” I manage to whisper just as he groans, his lips slamming to mine in a bruising kiss, stealing the breath from my lungs.

NINE

Meyer

Our mouths collide in a fierce, demanding kiss, making my heart skip a beat and stealing all logical thought with it. Lennox tugs on my hair, a painful pleasure lighting my scalp as he tilts my head to the side, making me moan into his mouth. Our tongues tangle together as his hands run up my back and weave themselves into my hair as he holds me to him, not granting me even a centimeter of space.

“Meyer.” Nox’s teeth graze my bottom lip as he pulls back for a moment, only to slam his lips back on mine with a growl, lighting up every inch of my body. He dominates our kiss, working my body and setting me on fire as he walks me backward until I’m pressed into the wall with his body crushed to mine. One hand moves from my hair and gently wraps around my neck as he continues to kiss me breathless, moaning into my mouth when I gently bite his lower lip. “Fuck, wait,” he gasps, trying to draw back, but fuck that! I’m about two seconds away from losing my ever-loving mind. I’m so worked up and in need of release. No, not release; I need more than that. I need Lennox in a deep, raw, and primal way I’ve never felt before.

“No,” I growl back, stretching up on my toes, grabbing a fistful of his hair as I kiss him back with everything I have. He curses again, then kisses me back, my body heats, and my back arches to get closer to him, needing that contact. A pained whimper escapes my lips as I claw at every inch of him I can get my hands on.

“I’ve got you, Little Demon,” he whispers against my mouth like he knows the pain I’m in as he presses his knee between my thighs. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I cling to him as his hands grip my ass, lifting me so I can cradle his big frame with my body. I wrap my legs around his hips and let my hands run over his broad shoulders before moving them into his long, black hair. Lennox hums in approval, rolling his hips and grinding his erection against my bare, soaking-wet pussy, making me writhe against him.

“More.” I moan as one of his hands moves to collar my neck, growling into my mouth when I gently bite his lower lip.

“We need to talk first, Meyer. I had to… Shit, I had to bind you to me,” he says between kisses, and I nod, my mind slow to understand his words. “I had to in order to bring you back,” he continues, tearing his lips from mine and trailing hot kisses down my neck to my shoulder, where he inhales and groans, his teeth scraping against the delicate skin there.

I gasp, my head falling back against the wall as Nox keeps kissing and nipping at my heated flesh. “What, what does that mean?” I manage to get out as my mind tries to keep up with this conversation.

“That you’re mine. That if we keep going down this road, there is no going back,” he says with a possessive snarl, making my toes curl. God, yes. That sounds so good.

“Okay,” I agree mindlessly, and Nox curses and tries to pull back. “No!” I shout, clinging to him and rolling my hips against his hard length that’s pressed against me.

“Dammit! You’re not listening, and I refuse to do this unless you truly want it,” he murmurs, pulling back enough for me to look into his eyes.

“I do. I want this,” I admit, my cheeks flaming when he arches a brow.

“How long?” he suddenly asks.

“What?” I gasp as he hitches me further up like he’s afraid I might run if he doesn’t hold me tight.

“How long have you wanted this, Meyer? Just now, since you’ve woken up or…”

“Or!” I cut him off with a nod, hooking my arms around his neck and yanking him back to me, frustrated that he stopped.

“Answer the fucking question,” Nox whispers against my lips, kissing me back with as much, if not more, desperation than me. “How damn long!? I need to know I’m not taking this choice from you.”

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