Page 164 of Between the Lines

He braces his hands against the kitchen island. “Did you tell them about us?”

“God, no.” I bury my head in my hands. “Can you imagine? I totally lied about living here, too.”

There’s complete silence across the space. Then he sighs. “They’re not going to be my biggest fans, and I guess that’s only natural.”

“No.” Numbness has seeped into me again. Chased out the strong emotions, leaving me with only hopelessness. “I’ve gotten more involved than I should’ve. I’vemovedin with you. And we only have about a week left until the memoir is due… and you don’t do relationships. And I’veneverdone a relationship.”

Aiden pushes off the kitchen island. “Don’t think too far ahead.”

“Too far ahead? We’re talking days!”

“Charlotte.” He reaches for me and pulls me against him. I resist. Put my hands against his chest but I don’t relax. I don’t surrender.

Not at first.

But then his warmth envelopes me. His scent is uniquely his, like soap and cologne and man. His arms around me are familiar. I relax against him and bury my face against his shoulder.

“I’ve really fucked up this whole thing from the beginning,” he mutters against my hair. “We hadn’t even met yet when I messed up the first time.”

“You didn’t. You didn’t work for Titan, then.”

“No, but I was the heir to it. I was living off the money that came from it.” His hands move down my arms, slowly up and down. “I’m trying to make amends, though. Whatever you want, sweetheart. Do you want me to cancel the show?”

I lean back and just stare at him. “What?”

“I’ll happily do it, if you want.”

“That’s crazy, Aiden. That show employs hundreds of people.” I push away from him and try to find my breath again. “It’s not the show itself, it’s… it’s the way the shows are produced. It’s soexploitative.

“I have the deepest respect for reality television, I really do. Especially for the people who share their real lives for entertainment. But it’s never on equal footing. The producers will massage and twist a story during editing until ‘you,’ the actual real-life person starring on the show, no longer exists. And ‘you’ don’t have a say in any of it.”

“Charlotte,” he says, his face drawn tight. “I’m sorry.”

I wrap my arms around my chest. “I saw a few of the contestants in bad situations. Too drunk, hyperventilating, sleep-deprived. There were panic attacks, and no therapistsaround, or trained professionals to help with that sort of thing. Not to mention consent… That whole thing…”

He nods. “Changes need to be made to the production.”

“Yes. They’re young people, mined for content. If they’re okay with that, great! They’re adults. But just, you know… have some guardrails in place. Can you do that?” Hot wetness streaks down my cheeks, and I brush it away. “Damn it. I’m not sad. I’m just… feeling a lot right now.”

Aiden takes another step closer. “Can I hold you again? I understand if you don’t want me near you right now.”

“It’s not your fault.” I shake my head slowly, and now, I’m crying harder. I didn’t even know I was sad. But now that my tears have started, I can’t seem to make them stop. “I tried and tried to hold on to my grudge against you because of the show, but I always knew you weren’t the one directly responsible.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s okay if you hate me forever.”

“It’s not. Because I don’t, and never did. You aren’t to blame for what happened back then.” I take a deep breath and say the thing I’ve come to be most afraid of. “But it was safer to hold on to my bitterness than to face that I was falling for you.”

CHAPTER 58

CHARLOTTE

“I don’t want to make you cry. Ever.” Those green eyes are liquid, and his mouth is tense.

“But you are,” I murmur and smile a little. The numbness was safer than this, the bubbling of emotions inside of me. I wipe the tears off my cheek. “I haven’t felt anything like this for someone since… him. I’ve been strict with myself. Only temporary arrangements, only men who don’t… who aren’t really interested in anything long-term with me.”

“I know,” he says. “Even if I find it hard to believe that men wouldn’t be interested in you in that way.”

I chuckle weakly. I’m standing at the edge of an abyss, unable to see the bottom. Not seeing a safe way across. “See? You say something like that, and I can tell that you actually mean it.”

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