Page 147 of Between the Lines

CHAPTER 52

AIDEN

“The next episode they shot, things started to fall apart for me. I hadn’t known, of course, but Blake was being lured by another girl. Turns out he wasn’t hard to poach. And those challenges to stay in the game?” She shrugs. “The real way to stay alive was to couple up. End up getting dumped, and… well, you’re off the show.”

I watch her shoulders fold inwards. “That’s what happened.”

“Yes. And when I found out, I was so hurt.” She wipes her cheek. Is she crying again? The idea makes my chest constrict. “I made a fool out of myself. I tried to mimic his accent, saying… God, have you not heard this?”

I sit up too, and brush her shoulder with my own. “No. I haven’t.”

“It was everywhere at the time. I should just show you the video… but I’ll never live it down.” She takes a deep breath. “I tried to say it in a British accent, the…‘But I’m your little Sugar Puff.’Except it was awful. I had been drinking and was clearly pretty drunk, and Blake just laughed. I had to be escorted off the set by the production team.

“That moment, though… it became legendary online. People made it into a meme. ‘But I’m your Sugar Puff’ was remixedinto a song, and it made the rounds at the clubs that summer. It ended up charting, actually.”

“What the fuck?”

She shoots me a look that’s equal part wry and equal part sad. “The Gamblestill uses the term. It’s become part of the lore. I’ve even seen people withSugar PuffT-shirts.”

“Fucking hell.” How could anyone have let that happen? “But when the show aired, surely people saw? You were the victim in all of it.”

“Not the way the show was edited. I came out looking pretty sanctimonious in my innocence, and my attempts at making friends were chopped up and rearranged. I looked smug and petty beside Blake, and my love was entirely naive.”

“You werenineteen.”

“Yeah. Maybe it would be different if the season aired today, but it was a decade ago.” Her words are wooden. “When the show aired, I finally saweverything. I saw Blake chatting with the other guys. Telling them he called me Sugar Puff because that’s what mytinytits reminded him of.”

Her words are a bucket of cold water over my head. “He didwhat?”

“He did it all with a smile. The kind of fuckboy that people can’t help but love, you know. Remember what I told you… about my experience with oral sex?”

“I remember,” I say darkly. “He said that on TV, too?”

“Yes. He did.”

I push off the couch and start pacing in front of it. My hands squeeze again into fists. I need to dosomething.Anything. But I can’t, because this was ten years ago, and the pain is already there. The damage is already done.

Her shoulders slump, like she knows what’s coming and is bracing for it. She doesn’t look like the woman I’ve grown toknow, and for a second, I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Drag me down where my own shame can drown me.

This is a fucking show that I still keep on air.

“And now you’ll think of me the same way the viewers did,” she says. Her voice sounds hollow. “The way everyone still does.”

“Of course I won’t.”

“How could you not?” She buries her head in her hands, and I ache, seeing her sitting there. “I was a laughing stock. People yelled ‘Sugar Puff’ after me on the streets. And I knew it was because of him, because I’m flat chested. My god-awful British accent made into a soundbite, and I was reminded of iteverywhere.”

There will be time for anger later.

I sit down beside her and wrap my arms around her body. For a moment, she struggles. Sits stiff and tense. But then she sags, falling into me as if her strength has left her. Her face is still hidden behind her hands.

“I’m so embarrassed,” she murmurs.

I rest my chin on the top of her head. “Don’t be”

“I hate it. I hate that it’s out there, I hate that the dumbest thing I’ve ever done is entertainment… And Ihatethat you know about it now.”

“Charlotte…”

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