Page 47 of Filthy Rich Santas

I take another bite, keeping all my attention focused on it, and after a moment, she gets caught up in conversation with Ryder again. It’s not until Tristan gets up to pay for our meal that I realize I’ve got no fucking clue what they’ve been talking about, lost in my thoughts this whole time.

As Tristan is paying, Ryder makes a comment about needing a pit stop before we get back on the road and heads toward the sign for the restrooms in the back of the diner. When we’re alone at the table, Lana puts her soft hand on my arm again.

“Are you…”

She bites her lip a little shyly, and I tense up, hoping I haven’t somehow given away the kind of shit I’ve been thinking about her.

“What?” I ask when she just leaves the words hanging.

“I was just wondering if you’re upset.”

“No,” I say, more curtly than I mean to.

Lana gives my arm a little squeeze. “Are you sure? Something has seemed weird with you all morning.”

“Everything’s fine.”

She nods, looking at me like she’s not quite convinced, then sighs and removes her hand, giving me a tiny smile. “Okay. I just don’t want things to be awkward on this trip.”

“Nothing is awkward.”

I hold her gaze, hoping she’ll believe it, since it’s true. I may not be able to name the riot of emotion still broiling in my chest, but awkward isn’t a part of it.

This time, the smile she gives me is a little more real, one that draws my eyes to the dimple near her mouth. “Good. It’s really freeing to be able to be myself around you three. Wade was just so vanilla, you know?”

I give her a non-committal grunt. Idon’tfucking know, nor do I want to know anything about her piece of shit ex.

“He always made me feel weird if I ever wanted to try new things in bed,” she goes on, wreaking havoc on the tight control I’m using to keep myself from picturing what she told us in the car. “It didn’t take me long to realize I shouldn’t even bring certain things up.”

I want to know what kind of things. I want to hear every fucking one. I want to dominate her, insist she tell me in vivid detail, then show her whattruepleasure can be.

Instead, I double down on my control and keep my response to the basics.

“He’s a motherfucking prick. He didn’t deserve you.”

She laughs softly.

“It took me a while to see that, but you’re right. I think that’s why I wanted to reinvent myself after he broke up with me. I never wanted to be the person he would have been happy with, and with him out of the picture—well, that’s part of the reason I got my piercing. It’s something just for me. And it feels like therealme, if that makes sense.”

I force out another grunt to let her know I’m listening, but fuck, she’s seriously trying to kill me with all the shit she’s saying.

Her cheeks turn the prettiest shade of pink with this latest confession, but the way she keeps her shoulders back and her head high anyway, refusing to be ashamed of her sexuality, is so fucking attractive that it sends all my blood south.

She starts nibbling her lip again, a hint of uncertainty passing across her face when I don’t say anything. “Doesit make sense?”

I nod at her, not trusting myself to open my mouth right now. But it must be enough, because she gives me another of those devastating smiles in return.

Thankfully, Ryder and Tristan both rejoin us a minute later.

“Want me to take a turn at the wheel?” Tristan asks, holding his hands out for the keys.

I shake my head. I could use something to focus on besides my chaotic thoughts, so I tell him, “Nah. I can do another shift.”

He raises his eyebrows, giving me a curious look. “Got something on your mind?”

“I’m good.”

He snorts but doesn’t push it, leaving me to my thoughts as we all pile into the car and get back on the road. I grip the wheel tightly, doing my best to ignore the temptation in the back seat and keep my mind from obsessing over things it shouldn’t.

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